Friday, November 11, 2011

Steps towards liberation...

Write this down.
There is no self at all in reality. No me that lives my life. 
Watch, wait, notice, write- what comes up? 

i am at ease with this. i see clearly that there is only a concept of I/me
Is there fear? 
No fear. In fact there is exhilaration, an excitement about adventure.
Is there doubt? 
No doubts. i can't see how it could be different.
See fear (above)
Yes, some frustration, but see the hollowness of this. i can see how it is the result of thoughts about how i used to imagine Enlightenment would be, specifically how certainty would exist.
Something that wants to scream and make a turn away, something that says this is not working? 
Thoughts that i may not be 'there' certainly exist, but are seen as just thoughts that are a hangover from old ideas.
Or maybe there is  wow, joy, relief?
No, ordinariness prevails. 
Notice all that is going on inside and just put it down in writing.

What is going on is a subtle sense of release. A seeing that the old identification with an I was responsible the illusion/story that causes all of the suffering in the world.

Strip away all expectations.
What do you expect that liberation is going to be like?
Expectation have changed as of two weeks ago. No more expectations of a sonic boom.
i guess this is not answering the question. What do i expect ?
i expect a progression, a deepening into a state where brain conditioning will fade resulting in habitual, ritualistic thoughts decreasing.
What do you want from it?
There is no I/you to want anything and no 'it' to deliver anything.
How do you imagine a liberated human behaves? 
They would be as varied as their conditioning/experiences.
What should it be like?
i'm tempted to say that this is a stupid question that doesn't deserve consideration, but will see where it takes me.
It should be what it will be.

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