Saturday, September 11, 2010

Is the mind aware? 11/09/10 22:45:24 my mind calls awareness the process of remembering a recent event and then speculating about it all the while pretending that it is happening in real time. Being able to replay enables a sense of objectively which adds to the illusion of awareness. This awareness is a vastly different state to that where it appears that the minds processes are not conscious. Hmmm, maybe being conscious is analogous with awareness. (to the mind) It is seen that there is only one-ness with no separation at all. My mind has no trouble believing this – it's the seeing I yearn for. No separate god, only god. I believe this too. Jane Roberts' Seth turned me onto this years ago. It instantly resonated with me when I read it. Everything is made of awareness – no me, no-one making decisions. I have no trouble accepting this. … belief and acceptance this is a state where the mind has no apparent conflict attached to an idea Buddha said “choices are made, deeds are done but there is no doer thereof”. Obviously if my only claim to an I is a mental process tricking itself then the doer is also an illusion. The mind is the wrong tool for the job, and will keep you distracted but you can only do what you do. Yes, I understand this and also have been practising total acceptance with awareness (of the acceptance and any habitual residual emotional reactions. The understanding comes from realising that the real you is watching the whole human experience. You are not the human or the human experience but the awareness that is aware of it. I can understand this as a concept. Acceptance and belief are also present. I also understand that my understanding and acceptance and belief are my minds trickery. The understanding comes from realising How to realise ? Knowing that it is beyond doing. Take a step back! How? Mentally? ( lol ) Be careful not to make the ego the enemy it's not. I came to terms with my ego long ago (did a lot of pop psychology – encounter groups, psychotherapy etc.) and now really appreciate how it has always had the best intentions – in fact made survival bearable and even enjoyable sometimes. It made a lot of stuff ups with those good intentions. You are experiencing directly (since in the end there is nothing separate) but you are not the experience nor the human that generates the experience but are the awareness of it. No trouble accepting the logic of this. Do also believe it. ( it still doesn't help with the doing that can't be done...) And, does awareness have any qualities, hmmm... seems like it would have except for the logic that says that qualities can only exist in duality. quantities or dimensions? How big is it? Where does it reside? Omnipresent, omniscience, omnipotent – no problems, it fit's in with my desire to believe in magic. Is the mind aware? a response to Roys email.

Is the mind aware?

11/09/10 22:45:24

this(my) mind calls it awareness when the process of remembering a recent event and then speculating about it (all the while pretending that it is happening in real time.) Being able to recall  enables a sense of objectively which adds to the illusion of awareness. This awareness is a vastly different state to that where it appears that the minds processes are not conscious. Hmmm, maybe being conscious is analogous with awareness. (to the mind)

It is seen that there is only one-ness with no separation at all.
My mind has no trouble believing this – it's the seeing I yearn for.
No separate god, only god.
I believe this too. Jane Roberts' Seth turned me onto this years ago. It instantly resonated with me when I read it.
Everything is made of awareness – no me, no-one making decisions.
I have no trouble accepting this.
… belief and acceptance
this is a state where the mind has no apparent conflict attached to an idea
Buddha said “choices are made, deeds are done but there is no doer thereof”.
Obviously if my only claim to an I is a mental process tricking itself then the doer is also an illusion.
The mind is the wrong tool for the job, and will keep you distracted but you can only do what you do.
Yes, I understand this and also have been practising total acceptance with awareness (of the acceptance and any habitual residual emotional reactions.
The understanding comes from realising that the real you is watching the whole human experience. You are not the human or the human experience but the awareness that is aware of it.
I can understand this as a concept. Acceptance and belief are also present.
I also understand that my understanding and acceptance and belief are my minds trickery.
The understanding comes from realising
How to realise ? Knowing that it is beyond doing.
Take a step back!
How? Mentally? ( lol )
Be careful not to make the ego the enemy
it's not. I came to terms with my ego long ago (did a lot of pop psychology – encounter groups, psychotherapy etc.) and now really appreciate how it has always had the best intentions – in fact made survival bearable and even enjoyable sometimes. It made a lot of stuff ups with those good intentions.
You are experiencing directly (since in the end there is nothing separate) but you are not the experience nor the human that generates the experience but are the awareness of it.
No trouble accepting the logic of this. Do also believe it. ( it still doesn't help with the doing that can't be done...)
And, does awareness have any qualities,
hmmm... seems like it would have except for the logic that says that qualities can only exist in duality.
quantities or dimensions? How big is it? Where does it reside?
Omnipresent, omniscience, omnipotent – no problems, it fit's in with my desire to believe in magic.
silence’. There the mind can’t function and awareness is seen directly.
A few years of Vipassana with one or two ten day retreats per year and I still haven't experienced silence. ( I guess we are not really talking about silence as an experience here. )
perhaps this silence is a quality of awareness. The silence that arises.

last night

Where am I now?
Fri, 10 Sep 10 23:37
the dawning realization (acceptance) that this is only a knowing that occurs from time to time leaves me with a sense of disappointment and the feeling that I already have that and won't it be a bummer it the anticipated bliss doesn't happen.
Even the promise that the “knowing” will stay with me constantly (and thus save me from self punishment - resistance to what is.) is acceptable.
I see that this is the mind amusing itself with “separate entity syndrome”
I see that the anticipation is a way to generate pleasant feelings in this body, that this mind is hooked an experience of a bigger sensation.
A part of the back of my mind teasingly beckons with understanding. It says “over here is the doorway to Awareness” but I know that it also is mind amusing itself and can see that it is all the same stuff – the mind and it's a-musings and the world and all of it's forms. They are all expressions of the same energy stuff. Perhaps ordered, perhaps chaotic, perhaps scripted (though I doubt it).
Reading Sailor Bobs book Presence – Awareness – Just This leaves me with a feeling that there might be little “value” in seeing him in person but I can see that here the mind is fleeing from confrontation that he surely will bring to bear on any stupid games I am succumbing to.
Will dawn bring me peace?
Just uncover it, you dolt
it's daylight outside