Wednesday, December 28, 2011

To help someone awaken.

It's a dance.
A beautiful, erotic dance.
There is an energetic but rhythmic, lead, be led, pulsation to this dance.
They say some words, you find a question.
They respond to the question.
You hone in on where the response comes from.
It's a dance towards infinity.
You don't know how long it will last.
i'm dancing six pages with two/not one at the moment.
It may culminate with the orgasmic explosion of Freedom,
or it may end with the lazy relaxed waltz of 'how ordinary'
Who knows?, Who cares? Who is there to know or to care ?
The dance isn't a dance between two people,
it's a dance of togetherness between a 'no I' and an I standing on a ledge.
The intertwining of 'what is' with a story of hope and despair,
makes for intimacy hypersensitivly (i love making new words) delicate.
The little death that is orgasm happens many times on each page, but,
"is this it?", "is it?", "no it can't be, it's too soon", "there hasn't been enough foreplay yet."
Each time the faintest spasm of recognition that promises absolute bliss, each time,
Thoughts come thundering in. "You don't want that !" "This isn't right !" "you'll go to hell !"
Thoughts that carry a wet blanket, a full bucket of water to douse a tiny spark.
Each time that happens, the dance moves into a new question,
gleaned from the unseen body language of the I about to jump.
Again and again to the quickening beat of the music, or is it my heart ?
"When will it end?" you ask, "for I can take no more"
It won't i tell the I, this is just the beginning,
So you might as well jump !
Have you ever seen an I splattered on the sidewalk ?
It's a beautiful, horrible wonder-full sight.
Well, not a sight, just seeing.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas day 2011

Thought today might be worthy of a rave...
The Sweet Spot.
When quiet and still and focused on a recognition of the fact that what is IS, the sweet spot is appreciated.
When there is a knowing that the situation as it stands is the current situation, the sweet spot is experienced.
When there is an acceptance of everything in the Now of this life, the sweet spot is known.
When the infinite details that make up the current experiencing are seen as irrelevant to the Fact of Now, the sweet spot is here.
When the bullshit that thought/mind is using to camouflage the actual is accepted as part of the actual, the sweet spot is now.
When welcome acceptance of the totality of Now is present, that is the Sweet Spot.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

an update & a rave

feeling far less chatty about this now.
Guided Robin on Liberation Unleashed forum yesterday through the gate.
here if you want a read or are interested in the process.
Had already guided Joshua through the gate back around 15th Nov 2011.
Just mentioning this for the record...

Life seems very ordinary and if it weren't for the time spent on Facebook (Enlightenment Now, Unleashed, and LU Central) and the forum mentioned above, liberation might have a back seat to everyday life.
It seems that only when something happens and the reaction is different than it used to be that it comes to consciousness.
It's easy for doubts to arise about whether anything has actually happened - which of course it hasn't.
Let me explain (hmm, just start and chattiness comes)
Is realisation, seeing what already exists a happening ?
Seeing what was seen before but then dismissed.
One doesn't do seeing, except as a linguistic description. Seeing happens. No, Seeing exists.
The eye is not referred to with seeing. The object seen is not referred to. An automatic reaction occurs to seeing/seen. Example; walking, a corner is approached, turning, walking. No thinking required.
The same with what used to be an I with preferences. Now an automatic response to preferences. No I required. Preferences change as no I to anchor them. A willingness to discover old preferences may no longer be relevant.

Does thinking of air
happen when i breath the stuff ?
Breath-in(g) just occurs.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

for the record...

just for the record, to log every significant thing on this journey.
Yesterday, twice, out of me came an explosion of anger seemingly towards my wife about what i perceived to be her attitude towards, the first time, my brother, and the second time, my mother.
The significant thing was i hadn't thought it to be a big issue with me, and the strength of the explosion, and how quickly it became a non-issue for me (seemed to) as i held no lingering emotion about it.
i also was slightly bemused by my wife's 'sulking' about it. Almost difficult to understand how she could be hurt by my attack....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Is it possible for a person be enlightened ?

This post is evoked by this one from thoughts of Gregory.
To brutally summarise it;
The self tricking itself into sitting in a different bit of itself which it identifies and labels as “knowing” or whatever and then has a great time watching all the other bits coming up and saying;
 “Look! That’s not me .. oh .. and that’s not me .. and that’s a belief .. and that’s not real .. Oh .. how free I am ! Now I’m free .."

No enlightened person will say "I am enlightened" for obvious reasons, well obvious to another enlightened person anyway.
The reason being that enlightenment begins with a realisation (that is the act of making it real) that the "i" or "me" was always an hallucination. A concept built and maintained by the verbal functions of the brain.
Therefore, there is no I to be enlightened.

BUT we have a problem when it comes to communicating any aspect of what it is to not be ruled by a story of a self. 
So talking about enlightenment is one thing.
Being (enlightened) is a wordless experience. (well not actually an experience) ...maybe wordless experiencing.
Somebody (not someone) that has seen through the illusion of a self, no longer conforming to a story about who they are, no longer concerned with the characteristics of an acceptable personality, would not have a running commentary about how they are (or should be), about how they react to circumstances. They would be reacting to the actuality of the situation they find themselves (not them not selves - see the problem with communicating.)
For example, when speaking to someone known, the enlightened would not consider remembered information about that person, nor would they imagine how that person might respond to the conversation. Past and future are thought constructs better left untouched lest they interfere with the actual.
So communication is a problem as it always can only be about it.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Too many words...

Over the past couple of days reading facebook posts, i have consumed thousands of words and excreted thousands more.
They all seemed meaningful at the time.
They all seem meaningless now.
They did have an effect on me at the time. They changed something as i assimilated their perceived meanings.
Now they are forgotten. Only the results of the integration of my reactions remain.
It makes up the new me, or more accurately they contributed to the enhanced story of me.
The pointing that they were may contribute to a new way of approaching circumstances. A different view of experiences.
Has life-ing changed ?
Different reactions, different experiencing, the same life.

Monday, December 5, 2011

What is Enlightenment ?

What is Enlightenment ?
There is no answer to this.
It means different things to different people.
Certainly for those who have passed through the 'gateless gate' it is obvious how contaminated the word is.
If we look at a thesaurus, then the first three word that come up are insight, understanding & awareness.

Insight, understanding and awareness of what ?
This is much easier to answer.
Insight, awareness that the I or Me is an illusion. (Deleted understanding as that is only intellectual.)
To see is not to realise (make real), but seeing can precede realisation. 
Blind identification with an I/me is definitely UNenlightened. 
Re-cognising that the concept of an I/me has a limited, but useful role to play in interacting with a world full of people who do have blind identification with an I/me, is enlightened behaviour.
If you are naturally left handed, but teachers and parents from a very young age always insisted that you use the right hand for all single handed tasks, you would grow up thinking that right handed-ness was natural for you and you would even have trouble writing with your left hand. 
It had been a conditioning that you took as normal. 
This is the case for the unenlightened. It is a conditioning that is taken as normal.
How does one learn to use their left hand again?
The first thing is to believe that it can be done. The next thing is to practise it. 
This seems like work or discipline is required and if that is true then that is where the analogy must end.
In the case of the conditioning of thoughts to identify with an I/me, once it is seen that it is just conditioning then identification only occurs when buttons are pushed, when emotional responses are evoked then the old conditioning reasserts itself. This is usually for less time and with less intensity and fades with practice. In this case practising comes naturally most of the time and requires no discipline.
So what is a usual attitude of one who doesn't blindly identify with an I/me ?
This might be best answered by describing a thought process of one who does blindly identify.
When I believe that I own My thoughts, then I am responsible for them. That also means I must judge each thought according to a moral code (that They conditioned into My brain) As my behaviour is seen as a response to My thoughts, everything I do is also judged by that moral code. This means that every waking moment, I am being good or bad (or somewhere in between) and having an emotional response to that. How exhausting !
What an incredible release from all that, to wake up to the illusion of an I/me. 
To react to 'what is' without all that emotional baggage allows an incredible amount of energy to be freed.
There is an easy, relaxed willingness to 'go with the flow'
There is a chuckle that bubbles up with each recognition of how it used to be, of how stress used to greet this situation. Everything from a red traffic light to a queue at the supermarket, or the wife interrupting your blog writing to do some chore.
Further to this is an appreciation of everything from the shape of a tree or the colour of the grass to the human-ness of somebody upset with somebody or something. (even yourself) 
Don't quite know from where this emanates, possible a result of the extra energy available.
Ok, have run out of energy for all these words. Going to shower & bed now. May continue at another time. Probably will...

Sunday, December 4, 2011

What is it that can't find a self ?

Some say that there is a knowing that there is no self.
Here there is just a realisation that thoughts can't find an I.
The I was a thought construct, a concept.
The truth (a concept too) was arrived at by seeing the false.
The I was false. Or rather, no I found, that is all.
Thoughts are what i experience, but i can't call them mine.
Science shows that the brain decides 6 seconds before a thought thinks it decides.
see here
Thoughts just arise. Can't see where they come from.
Yet it's thoughts that decide that there is no I.
Well actually they don't decide, they just can't find one.
i don't know anything, don't even know that i'm not dreaming all this. Dreams seem so real when they're happening, just as this seems so real. So there is no knowing.
Can't find an I. Thoughts not mine. Don't know anything.
Is this freedom to experience directly ?
To simply watch life life-ing ?

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Where ever you are, BE STILL.

Where ever you are, BE STILL.
Go into that sensitive place where it feels like you are trying to be tiny.
You know, huddle down like you might as a kid hiding from everybody. Shut your eyes like if you can't see them then they can't see you.
Now go inside yourself, starting in your head and look for a self. Whatever it is that you call 'me'
Just for a moment keep looking down through your body right to your feet.
Can't find a 'me' anywhere in there ?
Of course not ! You are not there.
Now keeping your eyes closed, think about your left shoulder. Don't move. Just think about it.
Can you feel anything touching it without moving ? Don't move, just think about it.
Where does it stop and the space it is in start ?
Does the you that you couldn't find own the space around your shoulder ?
Does that space just melt into what you know as your shoulder ?
Where does one stop and the other start ?
Listen ! What sounds are there. Try starting with sounds that are inside, then sounds close outside this body, then sounds further away, then the fartherest away.
Instead of the sounds coming from away towards you, listen as if all sounds start in this body and move outwards (or inwards).
Try it....

Jed McKennas' description of enlightenment.

Jed McKennas' description of enlightenment lifted from here

You will never achieve spiritual enlightenment.
The you that you think of as you is not you.
The you that thinks of you as you is not you.
There is no you, so who wishes to become enlightened?
Who is not enlightened?
Who will become enlightened?
Who will be enlightened?
Enlightenment is your destiny – more certain than sunrise.
You cannot fail to achieve enlightenment.
Were you told otherwise?
Irresistible forces compel you. The universe insists.
It is not within your power to fail.
There is no path to enlightenment:
It lies in all directions at all times.
On the journey to enlightenment, you create and destroy
your own path with every step.
No one can follow anothers' path.
No one can step off the path.
No one can lead another.
No one can stop.
Enlightenment is closer than your skin,
more immediate than your next breath,
and forever beyond your reach.
It need not be sought because it cannot be found.
It cannot be found because it cannot be lost.
It cannot be lost because it is not other than that which seeks.
The paradox is that there is no paradox.
Is that not the damnedest thing?
Jed McKenna

Friday, December 2, 2011

an urge arose...

An urge arose to express 'it' verbally.
With a head full of everybody from J. Krishnamurti to Seth to Jed McKenna - all similar to the sweetness of rocky road, i was seeking and seeking.
What was found was, an absence of all that. It is still sweet mind you. It was (and still is) the best entertainment. There was hardly a tv show or movie or anything else that could come close to being as entertaining,
Maybe it was part of the journey.
i guess that everything that has occurred to this mind/body has let to this point and so was part of the journey. A necessary part of the journey, i don't know.
But i digress...
The urge was to describe something small and close. So small that it almost needs a magnifying glass to see. So close that to even look, is to look past it.
It is the intimacy of NOW.

...going for a walk. Back soon.

WELL, just went for a walk and what i was trying to describe before was so BIG.
The sound of these footsteps had a clarity that was sharply inside this body, which expanded out to the sounds coming from blocks away. When the birdcall inside my head vibrated away to where ever the sound  seemed to originate it compelled a whistle from these lips to mimic it. The feel of the wind seemed to stretch to somewhere over an ocean fifty kilometers away.
The bigness and the smallness, the closeness and the distance don't contradict each other.
They are the same thing.
i might call it ME, but that would trivialise it. i can't own it, for i am IT, or is it me. We are not WE as that implies separation.
Language requires compartmentalisation.
Just as when saying "that table has a brown top" doesn't mean it has no legs, or no shape. These things are ignored for the convenience of communication.
i imagine that the idea of a separate me started out as a convenience of communication and over generations became seen as an actuality. Brain conditioning.
What a loss. We live in paradise but somehow have come to believe something else.

What i want to describe can't be described.
The experience mentioned above didn't happen TO me. It wasn't done BY me. It was just experiencing happening and somehow there was a witness that chose this mind/body to be involved. Well... everything was involved, even you, but awareness-ing had limitations, probably for the convenience of not totally freaking out this mind/body, maybe.
This body isn't stoned, hasn't imbibed on mushrooms or LSD, but there are definite similarities.
Love for everybody and everything is happening. (just a language way of saying something)
The 'it' i started out to describe seemed to involve me. The end of the description seems to involve ALL of creation, and the as yet to be created and the created that has been uncreated.
Ah shit, maybe GOD is a language way to say it....

All of existence,
and all of everything else,
adds up to be me.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Trust means not 'doing'

A point of departure from seeking happened for me when Eric said something like "Trust.... " (i don't even remember what he meant for me to trust now), But it was a letting go of the need to do anything. It was an acceptance that everything necessary exists in me and in my world. In Jed McKennas' words (paraphrased) "Let go of the tiller and the boat will steer itself better than i ever could"
It is sometimes hard, no, sometimes i forget and grab the tiller again, sometimes in panic 'cos it think i am going to hit some rocks, and sometimes just automatically from habit. Usually it isn't too long before realisation that it has happened occurs, and i chuckle and it is released