i was thinking that a summary of current something might be timely when i realised that i was setting up a progress dynamic. A concept that something would happen in the future. Implying that i can get incrementally closer to Enlightenment. (i don't believe this to be the way of it, however i can get wiser while i play around the edges of it.)
Therefore, i have to acknowledge that i operate in time whilst (at the same time) believing to be true, that outside of my idea of myself that time doesn't exist. That time is just one convenient construct (concept) in the world i have manufactured in my imagination.
How do i reconcile the disparity?
No disparity. Each One is a view from a different side of the gateless gate.
Seeing/believing/knowing, that i am not awake, (on the assumption that if i was awake that i would know it), presupposes that at a future time that 'awakening' might occur. This is true whilst at the same time believing to be true that 'awakening' can't happen in the future as the future is nothing more that fantasy. A collection of 'what if' thoughts. Awakening can only happen NOW.
Another apparent disparity.
Hmm, can i say i was referring to some future NOW? (is that an oxymoron?)
When it 'happens' it will be a NOW. Won't it?
i think that NOW is only a concept. If i am experiencing something now, i have no sense of now. i am the experience. It is only later that i might describe the sequence from a particular NOW.
Even as i say the word NOW, it is already part of the past.
Being open to the ceaselessly unfolding NOW cannot possibly be my experience. It can only be an externally perceived concept.
If that description were accurate for me, then my experience would be of the sense inputs as they occurred. This of course includes the mind sense.
Any idea of past, present or future belong to the mind and the story it constructs around each experience.
Time is useful for;
appointments in the future,
but not for living.