Tuesday, February 14, 2012

valentines day haiku

Saying i love you,
expressing an outpouring,
an overflowing.

investigating beliefs is powerful...

Beliefs are a great way to deepen.
Start with a belief, any belief, and follow it down.
Let's see, what do i believe ?
Hmm, i believe that night will happen in about 4 hours from now.
Ha, first question Clangs into mind;
WHO believes ?
Immediately retorts; There is no-one to believe. That the belief exists in a story. i use that story when evening is approaching and in other organisational processes, probably every day.
Is there any identification with this story ?
No, haven't seen any evidence of it yet.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

That anger outburst...

Thoughts that the anger outburst mentioned in the last post may just be a portal to deepening.
How to access it was the question.
Listing any beliefs held, starting with beliefs that may have been behind whatever i was doing when expressing the anger.
Wife accused me of being greedy.
I responded with anger, shouting back "NO, YOU ARE WRONG."
So obviously there is a belief that i am not greedy. That's 1.
2. Equally obvious is that to be greedy or not greedy, there has to be someone to be that way. An I !
3. This implies that for there to be an I, then i am not through the gate.
4. This means that at best, i only ever had an intellectual understanding of it.
5. Does that mean that the I that i intellectually understand is not there, doesn't exist, is still really believed in by the me that i intellectually understand doesn't exist ?
Well, look where that lead me;
The non existant I is a fraud.
The non existant I is pretending to be a non existant I but really is still identified with that non existant I.
What is this non existant I to do?
The non existant I that has no choice anyway. That never actually controlled anything, what is it to do knowing that it can't do anything anyway ?
How can it stop being a fraud and really, really SEE that the non existant I can't possibly identify with a non existant I because it never existed in the first place ?

The Replies.

Re: That anger outburst...

Post by Elizabeth » February 12th, 2012, 12:27 am
Well, once you start a nice self-reflective loop like that :-) you may be hooked for a while. It's also a you wanting things done on it's own timetable (which does not exist) so that if it does not happen the way a you wants it to, the I exists, Yay! Because the nothing is not conforming! Proof! 
Or not. 
It's another layer of illusion. Look and see. Just another opportunity, and lucky you, a very juicy one. Excellent chance to deepen! 
Honestly, I don't know if am on target with this, Vince, the loop is very clear from here but I'll bet you get great comments so we will both be interested.

Re: That anger outburst...

Post by nonaparry » February 12th, 2012, 6:44 am
What i see here is a Story about an experience: "Wife spoke; i upset myself and spoke. Then i thought."

So obviously there is a belief that i am not greedy.

Actually, this is false; the belief that produced the anger was not that you are not-greedy; it's the belief that yes, she's right, you aregreedy, but somehow that's bad.

i am most fortunate in having The Work to use in situations like this one. if you 'accuse' me of x, i can find where i am x!!! i know i am greedy — so it's easy to see that greediness just happens, and we all partake of it in unique ways. Finding honest examples of where i have indeed acted as 'accused', allows me to meet the label with compassion instead of anger. And please notice that the statement "you are greedy" only becomes an accusation because you say so! 

One way of deconstructing the feelings is to ask yourself, "Wife says i'm greedy, and that means that..." This can bring up a list of fears, each of which can be inquired into through The Work. i find The Work completely compatible with LU, which makes sense as Katie is Awake.

Equally obvious is that to be greedy or not greedy, there has to be someone to be that way.

Oh Really? To be cold or not cold implies a person to be it? i give a physical example because i think it's the easiest way to debunk that falsity.
But really, Emotions clearly don't require an "I" in order to be felt! The feeling arises; it is just there. Only when you choose to identify with it does it become "special" or "you".

Re: That anger outburst...

Post by Ingen » February 12th, 2012, 2:41 am
Equally obvious is that to be greedy or not greedy, there has to be someone to be that way. An I !

It doesn't imply that at all. It just implies that you temporarily believe(d) some stories playing out between you and your wife, containing greedy and non-greedy self-images.

Re: That anger outburst...

Post by Chronophonix » February 12th, 2012, 12:35 am
Hi vince

May be this can help you, may be not, so I send it to you anyway. It's from one of my last message to Carrol.

You say you don't feel the no-separation, the consciousness connection, so, do you feel separation ? Is the other really one "other", separated from you ? The criteria is simple : the "other" is first a thought, then an emotion; the "other" can hurt you, dislike you, embarass you, scare you, when the "other" is here, you can feel akward, worried, insecure, you can be scared, annoyed, angry, and so on. Have you still such emotions ?
Do you still need to be somebody for anyone else ? To be special ? To be recognized ? Is it important for you to feel worthy to others ? If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, it's your "I" which is concerned. Only a "I" can feel the separation.

I think we are OK about the fact that if there is no "I", there can't be "other", and so, there can't be any separation feeling. So, by hunting all emotions which proves you the existence of the "other", you can deduce if really there is no "I" and then look more acutely to this.

Swami Prajnanpad used to say to his disciple who thought to be more liberated than they really were :
«Bring Swâmiji the wife(or husband)'s certificate»


Re: That anger outburst...

Post by Anki » February 12th, 2012, 9:25 am
Hi Vince... here's my penny's worth. The feedbacks:

Self-perpetuating loop from Elizabeth. Yes. So confusing.

Wife's (other's) certificate: Chronophonix. Oh yeah. There are 7 billion of 'us', each a mirror.

Temporarily believing some stories playing out: Ingen. Yup. Storyland.

Only when identifying with them do feelings/thoughts become 'special' (real): Nona. Yessir, everybody's baby, this one.

I like synopses, obviously. Here's my other contribution: When I find the core (which differs for everyone) I am at the root. That's where dissolving happens, which then reveals the truth awaiting.

These lovely feedbacks point to the core. When we recognize, usually via feelings,that we are going round and round, we can look further into the mirror of the external. This helps us realize that we have projected outwardly our very own 'story about' and then identified with it, i.e., temporarily believed that the story and the outward reflection are REAL things and oh so important! Then back to round and round we go.

Unless we look for core. That happens when we probe below the surface for the foundational beliefs beneath the more obvious ones. Eventually those core ideas dissolve (they can't endure the light of clarity), leaving the surface ever more smooth and undisturbed. Shining of clarity light, in my experience, sometimes has to happen numerous times. In the end, it does it. Dissolution of unconscious belief.

Seeing folly (our own), we yearn for Reality. Life's auto Zen stick. Lucky us!

I've spotted and vetted a lot of crap this way. I believed every smelly bit of it. And then I didn't.

Hope this is helpful.

Much love to my guide,

Re: That anger outburst...

Post by Anki » February 12th, 2012, 9:37 am
Also... going through the gate, absolute recognition of no I, CANNOT be erased. It happens, it's real. We re-identify with something not real, thoughts, etc. That causes us to temporarily set aside what non-identification proved: No self, no going back. Period.

Yes, I am a dictator on this. 


Saturday, February 11, 2012

Ha!, i responded to a button...

My wife accused me of something,
and i responded with anger,
and immediately saw it happen.
i was defending an image held of me. Ha!

There seems to have taken place...

There seems to have taken place
some kind of change,
a simplification
of Life-ing.
The need to express
with words has diminished,
or perhaps the need for any expression
has withdrawn a considerable amount.
As i read the postings at Liberation Unleashed
i keep wanting to shout out "IT IS JUST WHAT IT IS"
and stuff like that.

It IS what it is,
this wonder-full world of ours.
This world full of Wonder.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The day after the funeral...

Lots of emotion yesterday left me feeling light with difficulty concentrating.
Well not actually concentrating but felt that words (spoken and written) were a waste, unnecessary.
It was like i couldn't be bothered to work out what others meant.
Part of me said that there was no point in working it out anyway as it was excess to life.
There is some of this still today.
i really don't have anything to say to the people around me and Facebook seems full of unnecessary natter.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

She died today at 3:30pm

She died today at 3:30pm
looking at what was so obviously an empty shell,
it's hard not to construct a story of consciousness leaving the body.
Certainly consciousness was absent, but the how and why of it is in the realm of the unknown.
i only ever knew her through the lens of my own perception but i was always left with sense of enrichment from being with her.
This effect was reported by many who come into the sphere of her direct experience.
She was stoic.
She was stubborn.
She was a firebug.
Family and friends were everything to her.

to be continued...

Friday, February 3, 2012

story telling...

Story telling is pleasurable entertainment.
Here is some pleasurable entertainment.

There was once in a land far, far away,
a small person who was born with a defect.
Yes it's a sad story.
This small person was born without a personality.
In this land far, far away it is a widespread disease.
In fact every small person was born with it.
Every different parish in this land far, far away, knew how to Cure it.
It was amazing that there were hundreds of different languages and hundreds of different cultures and they each did a different version of the Cure and almost every one was cured.
Those poor souls who couldn't be cured were looked after very well.
There were institutions dedicated to caring for them.
...anyway, back to the Cure
It was learned very early in the history of this land far, far away that the best way to carry out the Cure was to give the job to parents.
Parents were trained by their parents who were trained by their parents and so on.
Nobody knows who trained the first parents.
There are stories, of course.
Some say it all started in a garden while others say it was a swamp.
Anyway it doesn't really matter where it all started.
It just matters that if every parent does their job properly then every small person will be cured.
Just as in training wild animals, a system of reward and punishment was found to be effective, although
it is thought that the reason that the state has to build more and more institutions to take care of the incurable is because parents don't have proper training.
Most blame the rule makers for this, but they in turn say that harsher punishment will correct the situation.
...anyway, back to the Cure
Whether it was discovered by some smart parent in the distant past or whether it was a slow evolution is a point the academics still argue today in the Learning Centres, but somehow parents came to know that if they described to the small people repeatedly the details of a personality that they wanted them to have that they would be Cured and develop a personality.
The usual outcome was that the small people rarely developed a personality like the parents had described but instead developed a mutated version of it.
Parents were still pleased regardless, as any personality meant that the small person wouldn't be taken away to one of the institutions for the incurable. (They tell me that conditions there are horrible.)

They usually start with a mantra of "Oh, your so cute" in a kind of syrupy sing-song voice of approval.
Of course when the small person starts to do something that is not approved of the response is a bark of frightening intensity designed to shock the small person in such a way that they won't repeat whatever it is that they did.
As growing occurs the mantra changes to something like "your a naughty boy" predominately as 'good' behaviour often elicits silence.
This is a particular potent mantra as it programmes the brain at several levels.
Firstly the 'your' word tells the small person that they have a separate identity. They soon learn that 'your' is the same as I/Me/MyName.
'a' reinforces the separateness. 'a' thing.
'naughty' while originally described behaviour gets taken as a characteristic of the small person. So it's not a small person behaving naughtily but a small person Who IS Naughty.
'boy' defines a gender identification. 'boy' has inherent in it all attitudes and behaviours that are masculine.
This mantra repeated several times a day is very powerful.
There are many variation of this mantra and even those that are not used directly.
A small person called Johnny over hears his mother saying "Johnny is not very good at reading" will very quickly adopt that as a characteristic of his developing personality.
Some parents adopt the attitude of the Rule Makers and believe that if they apply discipline that Johnny will get good at reading.
The end result is that most young adults have a fully formed personality and could easily fill a page with likes and dislikes and typical behaviour that define their Selves.'
Although the personality is developing and evolving from before birth to the very end, each person tends to see their Selves as something permanent and unchanging. At any point in their lives they will say that it is the same I that has always been there.
This is the absolute recognition that the Cure has been completely successful.

In a land far, far away there is in every cult(ure) a small group of outcasts.
They are not the incurable, though often they become that way, they are those who are so affected by the side effects of the Cure that they are obsessed with finding a different cure or with finding a way to lessen the side affects of the Cure.
They are usually referred to a 'the Seekers'. Always seeking a way to do it better.
They can have some strange ideas about life and how it could be.
They often refer to the few individuals in books that down through history had found a way to negate the side affects.
The Seekers had their own Rule Makers, usually somebody long dead who had followers who had followers and it was their followers who made a book telling it like they thought the original Rule Maker had said it.
He was usually a man from an entirely different cult(ure) and rumor had it that he might have had magical powers.
In spite of their differences most of these fringe dwellers had in the  mythology of their particular cult(ure) a version of the Cure that had only beneficial side affects.
There were stories of perpetual bliss and the ablility to manifest whatever was wanted.
...anyway regardless of the promises, the cure to the side effects of the Cure was said to be attainable through following any one of a multitude of different paths.
Most paths, of course, maintained that they own the copy-write for the Only path that actually gets you there.
As somebody who was cured of the side affects once might have said;
"All of these paths, or most of them, occasionally touch the truth.
They were often based of a truth, but like the chinese whisper game (where a message is transferred verbally down a line of people) a few steps away from the original message, things start to mutate seriously.
Now they offer the same ego masturbation that belonging to a club for support of a football team does.
They are mostly bullshit !
But you know, bullshit is useful.
What are you when all of the layers of bullshit are peeled away ?  "
...anyway back to the cure for the side affects of the Cure.
There are those among us that other people think have something special.
They seem not caught up in the trivial dramas that are usual for most people. They don't usually offer opinions or pronounce judgements about the good or the bad of something or somebody.
Some of them have said that the cure to the side affects of the Cure is actually very simple. That it's not learning something but rather Unlearning something.
They showed that there's nothing wrong with the Cure itself, but rather that the side affects are actually from a false belief that we are dependant on the Cure for continued survival. Indeed, that the Cure was actually a part of who we are.
The importance placed on maintenance of the Cure meant that our whole life was hinged on the upkeep of our Personality.
We not only constantly groomed it but would go as far as to commit murder if somebody insulted it.
Almost every thought sentence is started with I or My.
The Belief that you are your personality, the main character in the story of you is the total cause of the side affects of the Cure.

to be continued...