Sunday, September 12, 2010

my current understanding is ...

Where am I now?
12/09/10 20:01:07
my current understanding is as follows;
All that Is (Awareness/God) is all there is.
Therefore everything is an expression of this.
Like a wave is a temporary, unique expression of the ocean, this form (body) is a temporary, unique expression of All that Is. (as the actual ocean and wave are) but in the metaphor the wave can't know the completeness of the ocean, though it may “know” that it is part of something far greater than itself.
We are promised by those self-realised people that there is a “knowing” that comes with a re-cognisance of something we once knew (before we identified with a “me” story about 2yrs old). Unity or Oneness with All that Is. Not a gaining of it but a recognition of it as already existent, always present (even though dualistic language can't say it accurately)
As the present moment is the only one that can be related to in real time (the past is only memory and the future is fantasy) time is also a product of the mind. The illusion of time passing is a convenient tool for managing a life in form (especially as most other forms believe absolutely in the “reality” of time.
To dive down between the cracks of my time experience, hoping for a glimpse of direct experience is as close to not doing, but being, as this mind can conceptualise.
Oh, and labeling comes up. Well not just labeling but the value judgments that seem inherent in giving something a name.
Even to describe something is difficult without value judgments and anyway describing something is a function of memory recall and so a mental process. Observation on the other hand is seeing without the mental interference. This would be awareness? I might also see the arising of my thoughts in labeling and the associated judgments - with out judgment if seeing is direct.

Summer is coming
but all seasons are here now.
wonder-fullness, aye?


12/09/10 16:52:19
Seeing the reason,
doesn't help me to partake.
Stop looking for it!

a response to Roy's email

Is the mind aware?
11/09/10 22:45:24
This  mind (my mind) calls it awareness when the process of remembering a recent event and then speculating about it occurres (all the while pretending that it is happening in real time.) Being able to replay a memory enables a sense of objectively which adds to the illusion of awareness. This awareness is a vastly different state to that where it appears that the minds processes are not conscious. When it is lost in the processes. 
Hmmm, maybe being (mentally) conscious (as opposed to unconscious mental activity) is analogous with awareness. (to the mind) 
Of course i am not talking about Consciousness or Awareness.

It is seen that there is only one-ness with no separation at all.
My mind has no trouble believing this – it's the seeing I yearn for.
No separate god, only god.
I believe this too. Jane Roberts' Seth turned me onto this years ago. It instantly resonated with me when I read it.
Everything is made of awareness – no me, no-one making decisions.
I have no trouble accepting this.
belief and acceptance
this is a state where the mind has no apparent conflict attached to an idea
Buddha said “choices are made, deeds are done but there is no doer thereof”.
Obviously if my only claim to an I is a mental process tricking itself then the doer (i) is also an illusion.
The mind is the wrong tool for the job, and will keep you distracted but you can only do what you do.
Yes, I understand this and also have been practising (doing) total acceptance with awareness (of the acceptance and any habitual residual emotional reactions. It is mostly a natural/automatic thing for me now. (well about 60% of the time (?)
The understanding comes from realising that the real you is watching the whole human experience. You are not the human or the human experience but the awareness that is aware of it.
I can understand this as a concept. Acceptance and belief are also present.
I also understand that my understanding and acceptance and belief are my mind processes.
The understanding comes from realising
How to realise ? When i Know that it is beyond doing.
Take a step back!
How? Mentally? ( lol )
Be careful not to make the ego the enemy
it's not. I came to terms with my ego long ago (did a lot of pop psychology – encounter groups, psychotherapy etc.) and now really appreciate how it has always had the best intentions – in fact made survival bearable and even enjoyable sometimes. It made a lot of stuff ups with those good intentions.
You are experiencing directly (since in the end there is nothing separate) but you are not the experience nor the human that generates the experience but are the awareness of it.
No trouble accepting the logic of this. Do also believe it. ( it still doesn't help with the doing (that can't be done...)
And, does awareness have any qualities,
hmmm... seems like it would have except for the logic that says that qualities can only exist in duality.
quantities or dimensions? How big is it? Where does it reside?
Omnipresent, omniscience, omnipotent – no problems, it fit's in with my desire to believe in magic.
silence’. There the mind can’t function and awareness is seen directly.
A few years of Vipassana with one or two ten day retreats per year and I still haven't experienced silence. ( I guess we are not really talking about silence as an experience here. )
perhaps this silence is a quality of awareness. The silence that arises.

patience is the key
just watch is all i can do
come on springtime!