Friday, November 25, 2011


"Look close at the most precious beliefs that are close to the heart, in no touch zone. They are the ones that you really want to inspect up close. You will recognise them by feeling resistance. Follow resistance. It is here to let you know that another bit of lie is sitting somewhere waiting to be noticed." Ilona
Beliefs, resistance. Looking, looking.
A current belief is that there aren't any beliefs left. But that is too convenient. Of course there are beliefs that are required to make daily life work. (i believe i will wake up in the morning, etc.) But beliefs about a self ? To say "no", which is the first reaction, is this resistance ?
Will consider while i shower...
Anthony Amrhein asked on Facebook a few seconds ago "What are you trying to unlock or open up, exactly?"
Is this synchronistic ?
Unlock, Open up ???
First response is Jed McKennas' "Further"
Going for that shower now...
No good answers, just "further, further..."
Will sleep on it...
Woke up seemingly normally but an hour later was extremely irritable, snapping at my wife over trivial stuff.
Certainly there have been occasions since 'it' happened where the reaction to frustration has been irritability, but on those occasions it dissipated with the seeing of what was happening within minutes. This time it lasted for about an hour in spite of seeing it.
Investigation took me straight back to the stuff above. 
What is this resistance to ?
What belief was/am i hanging on to ?
The first answer that arose was that i still wanted the bliss, the high that i used to believe came with Enlightenment (that's what i was seeking)
Even though there was recognition that these were only thoughts, the irritability persisted. It must be something deeper. This was just a ploy to avoid looking deeper.
Being only a week or so away from returning home from this trip, the story of what i will tell my long time (25 years) meditation buddy has happened to Vince sounds so lame.
"Oh, by the way, while i was away i 'saw' the illusion of a self." 
My wife also is unimpressed. i guess she is thinking "Oh, just Vince being weird again."
This desire for something substantial to show for 'stream entry' was possibly behing this mornings hissy fit.
Keep open to deeper. 
Accept that conditioning will continue for some time.


Enlightenment, like God, is a word that means different things to different people.
Because of the assumptions and preconceptions which are often highly emotive, they can be considered contaminated words and not used unless accompanied by definitions.
Liberation is a more appropriate word for 'stream entry', a Buddhist  term for someone who has realised (made real) or seen at an experiential level the illusion of a 'self' (and some other stuff - see here)
The illusion of permanence is also another one the Buddhists place great emphasis on.
The illusion of knowing another person.
The illusion of knowing anything at all.
The illusion of Truth (see here for an exposition this and the previous illusion)
A caveat on knowing anything and Truth is that these may not be illusion for somebody more fully realised. i have no insight for this - yet.
Illusion of the existence of an entity called society, church, government, etc., anything that is a name for a collection of events or people. It is the generalisation (an illusion) that constitutes the evil (another illusion) and makes for 'isms. (racism, nationalism etc.)
The illusion of Ownership.
The illusion of the inevitability of suffering.
The illusion of the future/past.
The illusion of good/bad.

In fact, if it is said that seeing what is real as distinct to what is illusion, then we get to a position where the only reality is the wordless happening of NOW. (it can only be described post event)
Does this make everything else illusion?