...ok, i admit it. It is the rush i want.
The rush of realisation that i am not who i thought I was.
The rush of realisation that i am effortlessly residing in the realisation.
i had a couple of minuscule glimpses of Truth in the last couple of days and although beautiful lacked the excitement of discovery. (well, they were more like the flash of a concept that resonated truth)
my current concept of the 'enlightened' state (advaita cops - piss off!) is as follows;
a constant great big wide grin, wide eyed at the wonder of the discovery of everything and everybody as if it were a first time, welcome, wonder-ful encounter.
The full bodied ingestion of information and spirit of the current experience. Like a baby, no judgement, just awareness drinking in 'what is'.
There is effortless awareness of what is happening in the mind which has changed it's role from head honcho to hired consultant.
The much reduced stress levels resulting from no longer responding to 'what if' scenarios creating a body more in harmony with itself.
No more inappropriate ingestions.
A healthier body.
No more responding to the mind story that results from a reaction to what somebody says and elicits an emotional outburst. A calm reasoned, compassionate response to everything anybody says or does.
The above seems perfectly reasonable to me.
(as a teacher recently said to me, "is that too much to ask?" [huh!]) <- that sounds like the beginning of a 'what if' story to me.
But i digress...
Although it seems quite attainable, it IS just a concept and the chances of reality coinciding with a concept are not good.
So, this remains just part of the best story i can come up with - while i wait for that transformative NOW.