Perhaps you understand this intellectually, but are
unable to use it. If this is the case, you may not be
looking at yourself honestly, truthfully, or with a deep
enough desire to let go of your limitations. Lester Levenson
i'm sure the desire is there (although this mind could fool me here too)
so can only assume that this mind is fooling with the truth or honesty.
maybe going back to the original enquiry "who am i?" and check for honesty.
desire for the truth
honestly facing ego
should open me up