Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Choice or Choice-less ?

Since awakening occurred, there is a willing acceptance of the arisings of life-ing.
No decisions need to be made, although it still seems that they are.
Sometimes there is a reminder that i will 'go with the flow', and this seems like a choice, but on investigation, it is seen that there was already put in place the intention to 'do' this.
Certainly, it seems (in hindsight) that i could have 'chosen' to take a different direction.
But that didn't happen.
Did i have the capacity to 'do' otherwise ? i don't know.
i do know that it seems like i did, but i also know that there were no alternatives considered.
There was recognising some resistance, then a 'letting go' when the memory arose of the 'going with the flow'.
By going with the flow, i mean that whatever is in front of me, is what is willingly accepted as the top priority. eg, i am typing this and my wife comes and asks will it attend to a job, whereas before i would feel intruded upon and interrupted, now there is just doing it. No reluctance, no resistance. Just happiness at the opportunity to practice 'going with the flow'.
This 'going with the flow' seems like a previous decision was made, but in fact was a recognition that it is either do this or add distortion by resisting.
Is there a choice here ?
Before that recognition, while the illusion of choice was present, there was habit.
There was a desire to continue what was happening (what i was 'doing') and so the request to 'change course' was seen as an interference. This was where conflict occurred, which resulted in anger and disharmony.
Once seen, where was the choice ? Could i choose to continue with an attitude/behaviour that induced stress ?
Of course, conditioning (habit) still sometimes arises, but is usually seen to be occurring, which instantly causes evaporation of resistance, accompanied by a chuckle of recognition.

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