i may have arrived but don't see any clear signposts telling me so.
Here is the current situation as i see it.
The I that I call Me doesn't exist. It is a mental construct only. The result of brain conditioned by culture.
I am obviously not my body as attested by the fact that I am no less Me if every non vital part of my body is removed.
I am not my mind as it frequently changes without changing me. Even to claim my thoughts as mine is a fallacy.
Observation will reveal that I don't originate a thought. I can't even control what my next thought will be.
I (ego) claims them after they have occurred. It is necessary to continue the illusion of the ego claiming to be me.
Thoughts just arise. Talking, walking, seeing etc just happens. (more on this later)
I look and look and I can find no Me anywhere, but who or what is looking?
Whatever it is, I am that ! (some call it soul or consciousness or awareness)
Whatever it is doesn't matter for practical purposes.
For practical purposes, what does matter is to see what actually is.
That is, to see the difference between what my mind says is the situation and what actually it is.
It's the egos' job to assume reality (which actually isn't reality) so that mundane tasks are achieved without requiring full attention.
But the moment emotion becomes involved the ego needs to be sidelined and pure awareness, or clear seeing is the appropriate state to be in.
For this to happen we need to be familiar with what clear seeing is.
One of the things that obscures clear seeing is the unconscious mind reacting to historical pain. Pain that was not resolved at the time and was buried by impatient parents inability to transcend their frustration.
In developing clear seeing, this buried emotion will come to the surface and if accepted without judgement, will dissipate. There is no need to hunt it down.
To try and eradicate our past traumas is to try and improve a non-existant I.
It only serves to strengthen an egos' delusion that it is Me.
The 'out of control' tiger of an ego will become a purring pussycat of an ego when it stops being fed inappropriate growth hormones.
When I no longer identify with my looks or my car, or my success, (I becomes i) then clear sight starts.
There is no need to DO anything.
Understanding and willingness to be open, earnestness, is all that is required.
We are mainly allowing habit to die.
Intention is the motive force.
Something has happened.
Ego is starting to purr.
Does that mean something?