Sometime over the last two days something has changed for me.
It is subtle, but very definitely a shift in thinking/feeling has occurred.
i hesitate to call it Enlightenment as that claim seems too preposterous.
i have lived with the belief that those enlightened beings definitely know that it has happened for them.
i don't know!
i guess it doesn't actually matter, as this new 'state' is one of being very involved in actual experience with only occasional thought about the past or future. Recognising them as just thoughts. No attachment.
Recognition that i expected a sonic boom as i sailed through the gate-less gate exists. That certainty would exist. That i would be able to pontificate with authority. That i would know how things work. That i would recognise Oneness. All these things have fallen away.
Now i realise what others have said about the 'ordinaryness' of it.
While i wouldn't describe it as ordinary, the extraordinary-ness is subtle.
There is a tolerance, hmm, an acceptance of everything as OK. Amusement at accidents, even recognition of value in them. Knowing the rightness of the phrase "everything is as it should be"
Thoughts that it might be temporary, that it is yet to be really tested, keep occurring, but without any vigour.
There is a sense that it might be better to keep it secret from family and friends as i imagine that 'proof' will be sought. Though it might be fear that their reaction might threaten what seems a fragile thing.
These of course, are just thoughts. As someone i read recently almost said, "Once you know Santa is your parents", you can never again believe he is more than a concept. So how could i ever again believe I is more than a concept ? Still, there is a sense of possessiveness present.