was from the verge - a seekers journal. Now over the edge - no longer seeking.
was some compulsively expressed concepts, now description & exploration.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
All conflict with which we personally identify reflects a defensive posture from a Fear-Self. When the desires and needs of a Fear-Self are blocked, serious and emotional conflict will ensue. Fear-Selves hate anything that prevents them from getting their way; this applies to all kinds of situations, from long lines in the supermarket to threats to our loftiest aspirations. Every such obstacle pushes us into the shadow of the Wound, and that means suffering. When there is suffering, a Fear-Self will instantly emerge, full of rage, complaining bitterly about the presenting situation and looking to do something to 'correct' it. This is the source of nearly all violence in the world. Eric Gross p424 Liberation from the Lie
i wonder where hate sits with lack. How do i experience hate? As a mind/body which expresses most things passionately, it is easy for me to say "i hate idiot politicians/repressive regimes/people who litter/etc, but is it really hate? It doesn't matter if it is hate or something else, it is my awareness of the process as it occurs that has the potential to free me from this suffering. If recognition of the upwelling of emotion happens then it will flip me into a different perspective. One which will remind me that the 'hated' are also people who are reflecting their own conditioning. i can hope that circumstances will arise for them that will facilitate positive change in their motivation for the shitty behaviour, but that is me attempting to fill a lack in myself. The intensity of the hate emotion could be addictive. The kind of addiction seen in the religious. Certainly the single minded focus of intense hatred might be described as orgasmic. (in that the left [thinking] brain shuts down and the right [feeling] brain enjoys uninhibited [by the rational left brain] expression) A relaxed consideration of my own process of hating is possibly the best chance i have of changing my own conditioning. If my sense of lack is a result of my experience of being invalidated, and hate expressed is certainly invalidating for the recipient, then there is some kind of projection taking place. At least the internalised invalidation process is being perpetuated. Is it compassion realised (not fake/overlaid compassion) that can act as a circuit breaker. Let's not hate the haters for they are us and we are them. (stones in glass houses)
i hate the hating, that separates me from you please, give me a hug.