Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What is it that is keeping you from waking up ?

Ask yourself "What is it that is keeping me from waking up ?" Jan Frazier

She goes on to say that it will be simple and deep, that the loss of it will be probably threatening to 'me', my identity.
i have done this but received no answer, so am doing it again here (hoping for an automatic writing (typing) response.
"what is it ?" then just type... WHAT is it ??, what IS it ?? what is IT??? my first reaction is to say that i AM willing, brave, insightful so it should happen, but then reason that this ego is very cunning and so just returns silence. That way there is nothing for me to dismiss. i fully believe that i have no vested interest in maintaining a 'me' but logic says otherwise or i would be already 'awake'
i don't believe that the 'outer me' will change so much as to threaten family. In fact they will most probably say "yeah, yeah, so what's changed, you're still the weirdo you always were..." so there is no threat there and that is the only reason to maintain some continuity with the 'old me'
"What is IT???" - no response, so i will just go on with my day and try to keep that question alive (and the alertness to a possible answer)

i   asked "What is it"?
"that keeps me from waking up"?
fear that i will die.

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