Story telling is pleasurable entertainment.
Here is some pleasurable entertainment.
There was once in a land far, far away,
a small person who was born with a defect.
Yes it's a sad story.
This small person was born without a personality.
In this land far, far away it is a widespread disease.
In fact every small person was born with it.
Every different parish in this land far, far away, knew how to Cure it.
It was amazing that there were hundreds of different languages and hundreds of different cultures and they each did a different version of the Cure and almost every one was cured.
Those poor souls who couldn't be cured were looked after very well.
There were institutions dedicated to caring for them.
...anyway, back to the Cure
It was learned very early in the history of this land far, far away that the best way to carry out the Cure was to give the job to parents.
Parents were trained by their parents who were trained by their parents and so on.
Nobody knows who trained the first parents.
There are stories, of course.
Some say it all started in a garden while others say it was a swamp.
Anyway it doesn't really matter where it all started.
It just matters that if every parent does their job properly then every small person will be cured.
Just as in training wild animals, a system of reward and punishment was found to be effective, although
it is thought that the reason that the state has to build more and more institutions to take care of the incurable is because parents don't have proper training.
Most blame the rule makers for this, but they in turn say that harsher punishment will correct the situation.
...anyway, back to the Cure
Whether it was discovered by some smart parent in the distant past or whether it was a slow evolution is a point the academics still argue today in the Learning Centres, but somehow parents came to know that if they described to the small people repeatedly the details of a personality that they wanted them to have that they would be Cured and develop a personality.
The usual outcome was that the small people rarely developed a personality like the parents had described but instead developed a mutated version of it.
Parents were still pleased regardless, as any personality meant that the small person wouldn't be taken away to one of the institutions for the incurable. (They tell me that conditions there are horrible.)
They usually start with a mantra of "Oh, your so cute" in a kind of syrupy sing-song voice of approval.
Of course when the small person starts to do something that is not approved of the response is a bark of frightening intensity designed to shock the small person in such a way that they won't repeat whatever it is that they did.
As growing occurs the mantra changes to something like "your a naughty boy" predominately as 'good' behaviour often elicits silence.
This is a particular potent mantra as it programmes the brain at several levels.
Firstly the 'your' word tells the small person that they have a separate identity. They soon learn that 'your' is the same as I/Me/MyName.
'a' reinforces the separateness. 'a' thing.
'naughty' while originally described behaviour gets taken as a characteristic of the small person. So it's not a small person behaving naughtily but a small person Who IS Naughty.
'boy' defines a gender identification. 'boy' has inherent in it all attitudes and behaviours that are masculine.
This mantra repeated several times a day is very powerful.
There are many variation of this mantra and even those that are not used directly.
A small person called Johnny over hears his mother saying "Johnny is not very good at reading" will very quickly adopt that as a characteristic of his developing personality.
Some parents adopt the attitude of the Rule Makers and believe that if they apply discipline that Johnny will get good at reading.
The end result is that most young adults have a fully formed personality and could easily fill a page with likes and dislikes and typical behaviour that define their Selves.'
Although the personality is developing and evolving from before birth to the very end, each person tends to see their Selves as something permanent and unchanging. At any point in their lives they will say that it is the same I that has always been there.
This is the absolute recognition that the Cure has been completely successful.
In a land far, far away there is in every cult(ure) a small group of outcasts.
They are not the incurable, though often they become that way, they are those who are so affected by the side effects of the Cure that they are obsessed with finding a different cure or with finding a way to lessen the side affects of the Cure.
They are usually referred to a 'the Seekers'. Always seeking a way to do it better.
They can have some strange ideas about life and how it could be.
They often refer to the few individuals in books that down through history had found a way to negate the side affects.
The Seekers had their own Rule Makers, usually somebody long dead who had followers who had followers and it was their followers who made a book telling it like they thought the original Rule Maker had said it.
He was usually a man from an entirely different cult(ure) and rumor had it that he might have had magical powers.
In spite of their differences most of these fringe dwellers had in the mythology of their particular cult(ure) a version of the Cure that had only beneficial side affects.
There were stories of perpetual bliss and the ablility to manifest whatever was wanted.
...anyway regardless of the promises, the cure to the side effects of the Cure was said to be attainable through following any one of a multitude of different paths.
Most paths, of course, maintained that they own the copy-write for the Only path that actually gets you there.
As somebody who was cured of the side affects once might have said;
"All of these paths, or most of them, occasionally touch the truth.
They were often based of a truth, but like the chinese whisper game (where a message is transferred verbally down a line of people) a few steps away from the original message, things start to mutate seriously.
Now they offer the same ego masturbation that belonging to a club for support of a football team does.
They are mostly bullshit !
But you know, bullshit is useful.
What are you when all of the layers of bullshit are peeled away ? "
...anyway back to the cure for the side affects of the Cure.
There are those among us that other people think have something special.
They seem not caught up in the trivial dramas that are usual for most people. They don't usually offer opinions or pronounce judgements about the good or the bad of something or somebody.
Some of them have said that the cure to the side affects of the Cure is actually very simple. That it's not learning something but rather Unlearning something.
They showed that there's nothing wrong with the Cure itself, but rather that the side affects are actually from a false belief that we are dependant on the Cure for continued survival. Indeed, that the Cure was actually a part of who we are.
The importance placed on maintenance of the Cure meant that our whole life was hinged on the upkeep of our Personality.
We not only constantly groomed it but would go as far as to commit murder if somebody insulted it.
Almost every thought sentence is started with I or My.
The Belief that you are your personality, the main character in the story of you is the total cause of the side affects of the Cure.
to be continued...
Friday, February 3, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
emotions are like...
Some caring was expressed on the LiberationUnleashed liberated group today (just a few minutes ago) and i teared up.
Just witnessing caring, sharing evoked an instant surge of emotion and a resulting welling up of tears.
Not a sob. No wrenching. Just an overflow of beautiful, sensation.
Just writing about it now, triggers it again, although not as strong.
Is it that the Grief juice of the past couple of days (or is it more?) has primed this organism?
i checked and it started on Jan 26th Ha! Australia Day. It started as i got into the car to drive to Melbourne. post - on-way-to-melbourne
But these tears have nothing to do with Grief.
The wounded animal plea from that poor Doubt Sufferer evoked Compassion, which evoked, in turn, tears.
Are these tears different to yesterdays tears of a Grief overflow?
That one came out as an eruption. No gentle buildup to a beautiful meniscus before overflowing.
The possible story (for entertainment) is that they are connected, that yesterdays meltdown somehow contributed to todays.
i like it !
There is a sensation of being lifted from inside this chest. Like the chest cavity has been filled with enough helium gas to exert an upward lifting sensation.
The head seems to be physically cleaning out.
There is a gentleness, a sensitive-ness that pervades not only the body/mind but the space around it and includes everybody that thought touches.
Just witnessing caring, sharing evoked an instant surge of emotion and a resulting welling up of tears.
Not a sob. No wrenching. Just an overflow of beautiful, sensation.
Just writing about it now, triggers it again, although not as strong.
Is it that the Grief juice of the past couple of days (or is it more?) has primed this organism?
i checked and it started on Jan 26th Ha! Australia Day. It started as i got into the car to drive to Melbourne. post - on-way-to-melbourne
But these tears have nothing to do with Grief.
The wounded animal plea from that poor Doubt Sufferer evoked Compassion, which evoked, in turn, tears.
Are these tears different to yesterdays tears of a Grief overflow?
That one came out as an eruption. No gentle buildup to a beautiful meniscus before overflowing.
The possible story (for entertainment) is that they are connected, that yesterdays meltdown somehow contributed to todays.
i like it !
There is a sensation of being lifted from inside this chest. Like the chest cavity has been filled with enough helium gas to exert an upward lifting sensation.
The head seems to be physically cleaning out.
There is a gentleness, a sensitive-ness that pervades not only the body/mind but the space around it and includes everybody that thought touches.
Monday, January 30, 2012
haiku - Grief
Pass through me, Sweet Grief.
Mobilise the flow of Love
Cleansing Fire of Death.
Grief without an I,
no sadness inherent there.
Just the Flow of Love.
The Flow of Love is,
just a story to explain,
Inhaled by All.
Which is just story,
about what the feeling is,
The Something called Grief.
Mobilise the flow of Love
Cleansing Fire of Death.
Grief without an I,
no sadness inherent there.
Just the Flow of Love.
The Flow of Love is,
just a story to explain,
Inhaled by All.
Which is just story,
about what the feeling is,
The Something called Grief.
now that She is talking about her death...
Now that She is talking about her death,
Grief rises like a volcano
threatening to blow the top off this head.
Saved only by the sideways explosion from eyes/nose/mouth.
Grief, not painful grief.
Sweet grief.
Grief with such an intense pleasure that it could easily be mistaken for pain.
Without concern for appearance or response,
Sweet Grief takes over the mind/body Organism.
Thoughts and Feelings get swept upwards in the torrent of Love.
Occasionally a thought floats into consciousness saying,
"you're a selfish bastard! This isn't about You.
Where is your consideration for those more worthy of Sweet Mother Grief ?"
To which i reply "O Thought, you may be right,
but Happening is no Choice. "
And sometimes it seems that it Is Their grief being expressed Here.
Asked to do the Eulogy, and the story began;
"please everybody get your handkerchief or tissues out and ready.
i wrote many things about Heather and with each one Wept a bucket of tears.
i will start at the top of the list
But the moment i break up into tears i would like you to join me,
and we will just celebrate Her with a great big noisy cry.
... Ok, here we go...."
Grief rises like a volcano
threatening to blow the top off this head.
Saved only by the sideways explosion from eyes/nose/mouth.
Grief, not painful grief.
Sweet grief.
Grief with such an intense pleasure that it could easily be mistaken for pain.
Without concern for appearance or response,
Sweet Grief takes over the mind/body Organism.
Thoughts and Feelings get swept upwards in the torrent of Love.
Occasionally a thought floats into consciousness saying,
"you're a selfish bastard! This isn't about You.
Where is your consideration for those more worthy of Sweet Mother Grief ?"
To which i reply "O Thought, you may be right,
but Happening is no Choice. "
And sometimes it seems that it Is Their grief being expressed Here.
Asked to do the Eulogy, and the story began;
"please everybody get your handkerchief or tissues out and ready.
i wrote many things about Heather and with each one Wept a bucket of tears.
i will start at the top of the list
But the moment i break up into tears i would like you to join me,
and we will just celebrate Her with a great big noisy cry.
... Ok, here we go...."
Sunday, January 29, 2012
the Pain...
Seeing the Pain in Her sisters,
evoked it's own pain of sorts.
When does an unpleasant Sensation become painful ?
Imagined the Pain in Her Mother, though she didn't show it,
evoking an uncomfortable Question about Pain felt and Not Expressed.
Is the Pain connected to Her ?
Is it Our Pain responding to the Worlds history of Pain ?
Sadness at a Loss is pretty selfish pain.
Sadness by the witnessing of Suffering also starts and ends in our own head.
Sadness for the UnCreated by Her dying,
still doesn't connect with Her.
All the Pain is just the Organisms' way of saying,
"I don't want to lose that limb, even though I will manage without it."
It is the Pain if Clinging to That which we never had hold of.
If i say "go in peace and love",
it is so that i can have that peace and love.
How do i Farewell a part of me ?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Now that i am here...
Now that i am here and have actually seen Her,
a knowing that Nothing actually needs saying,
or more accurately The Saying is done without words.
i sat in the hospital room with my wife and daughter,
visiting our lifelong friend who was lying there in bed.
Not thinking about her/my past of excellent sharing and good feelings.
i didn't think to thank her for bringing Noel into our life.
They were such a good match.
Like two aliens from a planet of benevolence, they parented the world.
i didn't thank her for the sense of adventure she imparted to my wife.
The funeral services for dead birds, contributing to vegetarian-ism.
i sat there, just sat there feeling, feeling something maybe gratitude,
though if it is gratitude it is not directed, it is not For anything.
Maybe love, but not love For or By or With, just Love.
But i don't know what Love is either.
Appreciation could get a look in,
but that implies appreciation for Something, and there's no Thing here.
Ah, there's just a Warm something in the region of the Solar Plexus.
A Feeling that might touch lightly on all of the Above, just a Feeling.
Solid in the Centre and Softening as it radiates outward,
To infinity, though i feel its' intensity for a just a few metres.
It's Her.
It's She who is that Feeling.
It's Heather inside me, that part of me that's permeated with Compassion.
But it's Her Compassion for everybody that's inside my chest.
Oh well, if i say it is love,
You'll think you know what i mean.
a knowing that Nothing actually needs saying,
or more accurately The Saying is done without words.
i sat in the hospital room with my wife and daughter,
visiting our lifelong friend who was lying there in bed.
Not thinking about her/my past of excellent sharing and good feelings.
i didn't think to thank her for bringing Noel into our life.
They were such a good match.
Like two aliens from a planet of benevolence, they parented the world.
i didn't thank her for the sense of adventure she imparted to my wife.
The funeral services for dead birds, contributing to vegetarian-ism.
i sat there, just sat there feeling, feeling something maybe gratitude,
though if it is gratitude it is not directed, it is not For anything.
Maybe love, but not love For or By or With, just Love.
But i don't know what Love is either.
Appreciation could get a look in,
but that implies appreciation for Something, and there's no Thing here.
Ah, there's just a Warm something in the region of the Solar Plexus.
A Feeling that might touch lightly on all of the Above, just a Feeling.
Solid in the Centre and Softening as it radiates outward,
To infinity, though i feel its' intensity for a just a few metres.
It's Her.
It's She who is that Feeling.
It's Heather inside me, that part of me that's permeated with Compassion.
But it's Her Compassion for everybody that's inside my chest.
Oh well, if i say it is love,
You'll think you know what i mean.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
On the way to Melbourne...
On the way to Melbourne,
to say a Final goodbye to Heather,
There is emotional appreciation
for the Gift she gives.
All her life she was a Gift for all those that knew her.
She is my wife's best friend and sister.
She is sister to the whole world.
Quietly stubborn sometimes and Oh, so Stoic.
In pain but never a word about it, always seems so calm.
Hope i can keep it together when talking to her on Friday.
Hope i'm not too late to talk to her. don't know what i will say.
Don't Need to say anything, but would Like to say;
"Heather, thank you for being part of my Life.
You have enriched it immensely.
Go with Love & peace.
But of course i wont, You don't admit that this could be the last conversation that you might have together.
to say a Final goodbye to Heather,
There is emotional appreciation
for the Gift she gives.
All her life she was a Gift for all those that knew her.
She is my wife's best friend and sister.
She is sister to the whole world.
Quietly stubborn sometimes and Oh, so Stoic.
In pain but never a word about it, always seems so calm.
Hope i can keep it together when talking to her on Friday.
Hope i'm not too late to talk to her. don't know what i will say.
Don't Need to say anything, but would Like to say;
"Heather, thank you for being part of my Life.
You have enriched it immensely.
Go with Love & peace.
But of course i wont, You don't admit that this could be the last conversation that you might have together.
still raining.
The rain's still falling.
It's a Frog Orchestra now.
the little fuckers.
Buckets of Frog eggs,
make rabbit breeding look tame.
The Rain is so Loud.
Meditating Sounds,
The Frogs, the Rain and my Mind.
Deep i went tonight.
It's a Frog Orchestra now.
the little fuckers.
Buckets of Frog eggs,
make rabbit breeding look tame.
The Rain is so Loud.
Meditating Sounds,
The Frogs, the Rain and my Mind.
Deep i went tonight.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
an observation
The skin has an itch.
The sound of rain is pleasing.
Both incite response.
Frogs sing to the night.
A chorus of brain feeling.
Time to welcome sleep.
The sound of rain is pleasing.
Both incite response.
Frogs sing to the night.
A chorus of brain feeling.
Time to welcome sleep.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
i'm posting less and less...
i'm posting less and less as there seems to be less to express.
There is plenty to express in response to discussion on This New way of Being, but not much seems to want airing otherwise.
There was a value in expressing almost anything before as this was a way of discovering what was happening at a deeper level of mind/emotion.
Now there seems to be a different kind of discovery going on.
The relaxed observing of 'What IS' seems to be the main conscious awareness that occurs.
Before, there was a desperate attempt to work out what was going on subconsciously, based on the belief that every neurosis had to be worked out/through individually. That each had to be brought to the surface and washed clean, whereas now it is seen that these thing can simple be dropped, en masse, simply with the exposure of the process that they are involved in.
Details are irrelevant. Each time a trigger is activated, regardless of What it brings up, it is Seen and that is usually the end of it.
Some triggers need multiple exposure but most do Not.
There is plenty to express in response to discussion on This New way of Being, but not much seems to want airing otherwise.
There was a value in expressing almost anything before as this was a way of discovering what was happening at a deeper level of mind/emotion.
Now there seems to be a different kind of discovery going on.
The relaxed observing of 'What IS' seems to be the main conscious awareness that occurs.
Before, there was a desperate attempt to work out what was going on subconsciously, based on the belief that every neurosis had to be worked out/through individually. That each had to be brought to the surface and washed clean, whereas now it is seen that these thing can simple be dropped, en masse, simply with the exposure of the process that they are involved in.
Details are irrelevant. Each time a trigger is activated, regardless of What it brings up, it is Seen and that is usually the end of it.
Some triggers need multiple exposure but most do Not.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
LAST QUESTION: how has this liberation impacted your life with family/loved ones/friends?
The biggest impact is disapproval from Wife over how much time spent on computer (FB & Forum)
There is a noticeable decrease in reaction to 'button pushing' by her and certainly a decrease in the need to 'hold a position' on my part.
Mostly they all see me a normal (vince is a bit weird) with a slightly new twist.
Overall, not much change really.
Overall, not much change really.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
every liberation is unique.
Every person is unique, every liberation is unique.
There may be parallels (or not) between your experience and mine.
There may be parallels (or not) between your experience and mine.
For me it was a subtle, gradual awakening.
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened.
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing.
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly.
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened.
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing.
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly.
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)
A Realisation...
It just came to me, or more accurately, Thoughts arose that there is no need to work anything out any more.
There is a relaxation that says 'what needs to be known is shown when needed'
As this is being written, tears well up. Tears of a beautiful release. What a weight off ! No need to collect knowledge anymore. No need to consider how good i am at certain tasks.
Knowledge will be collected Of Course, but it won't be a chore that is a statement about how good i am. It will be knowledge that sticks as i brush past it. Natural curiosity of the organism will be its propellant.
There is a relaxation that says 'what needs to be known is shown when needed'
As this is being written, tears well up. Tears of a beautiful release. What a weight off ! No need to collect knowledge anymore. No need to consider how good i am at certain tasks.
Knowledge will be collected Of Course, but it won't be a chore that is a statement about how good i am. It will be knowledge that sticks as i brush past it. Natural curiosity of the organism will be its propellant.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
How i handle Doubts.
i handle Doubts by reminding myself that Doubts are just thoughts.
Thoughts are as significant as the sound of the refrigerator.
Thoughts of Doubt are part of What IS. (if they are)
Thoughts of Doubt are a Welcome part of What IS.
Thoughts of Doubt can tell me something.
Thoughts of Doubt are triggered by something.
Thoughts of Doubt, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
Thoughts of Doubt triggers, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
Thoughts are as significant as the sound of the refrigerator.
Thoughts of Doubt are part of What IS. (if they are)
Thoughts of Doubt are a Welcome part of What IS.
Thoughts of Doubt can tell me something.
Thoughts of Doubt are triggered by something.
Thoughts of Doubt, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
Thoughts of Doubt triggers, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
How long would you give attention to the sound of the refrigerator ? Thoughts of Doubt need less time than that.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Something interesting occurred to me...
There is a 'feeling', a 'knowing' that the Wisdom part of the brain is dominant when on Unleashed Facebook or the Gate forum pointing for somebody.
It's as if i can see the detachment from a story that's been played in the past, but can see the script being written for This story As It Happens.
Can it be, Is it there in the rest of my life ?
THERE IS NO SEPARATION - DOLT!!!
This IS the rest of my life. Duh!
Only thoughts can imbue life with Apparent segments, Apparent separation.
So if this is IT.
If THIS is IT, and i want a different IT....
and choice is an illusion, then how will it happen ?
...hang on a mo while i pull up a soapbox.
right! This is how.
INTENTION.
You intend for something to happen.
See it in your minds eye (:-))
Then you let it go. Like letting a bird fly out of your cupped hands. You let it go.
Then go on Life-ing.
Don't even wait, well, unless waiting is happening.
It's as if i can see the detachment from a story that's been played in the past, but can see the script being written for This story As It Happens.
Can it be, Is it there in the rest of my life ?
THERE IS NO SEPARATION - DOLT!!!
This IS the rest of my life. Duh!
Only thoughts can imbue life with Apparent segments, Apparent separation.
So if this is IT.
If THIS is IT, and i want a different IT....
and choice is an illusion, then how will it happen ?
...hang on a mo while i pull up a soapbox.
right! This is how.
INTENTION.
You intend for something to happen.
See it in your minds eye (:-))
Then you let it go. Like letting a bird fly out of your cupped hands. You let it go.
Then go on Life-ing.
Don't even wait, well, unless waiting is happening.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Doubt Thoughts are back...
Spew forth and hope that something good turns up...
The Doubt Thoughts are back...
Triggered by a person on FB saying that they have so much energy that it is almost out of control.
Then somebody agreeing. Like it was the normal.
It hasn't happened here..
Does that mean there was no gate crossing ?
No, it means that Thoughts about That arose.
It seems that there is a lingering tendency to revert.
Thoughts of Doubt probably arise only every couple of days now.
There is always The Sweet Spot for reassurance.
To see a thought as a thought with as much significance as say the sound of the refrigerator.
With the thoughts content given a casual perusal to evaluate whether they are worthy of attention.
The mind is a magnificent tool, or tool-box really. It contains equipment to solve the trickiest puzzle.
It Doesn't need a Driver.
It All just Happens.
Somehow we've given the mind permission to make up things and to ascribe meaning and purpose to everything. It's good at doing this. It's obsessed with it. It's whole purpose seem now to be Script writing.
Now that casual perusal to evaluate the worthiness of Attention is based on whether the thought realtes to something real or whether just story writing. If it's opinion, judgement, then it part of a story.
So the crap thoughts flow. They ebb and flow in a seemingly chaotic manner. They are just ignored.
Simple, they are ignored. Not interested.
Paying them no attention very quickly weakens them. They come less often and with less vigour.
They don't need to be suppressed. Simple Awareness, the Light of Attention is sufficient to kill them.
The Doubt Thoughts are back...
Triggered by a person on FB saying that they have so much energy that it is almost out of control.
Then somebody agreeing. Like it was the normal.
It hasn't happened here..
Does that mean there was no gate crossing ?
No, it means that Thoughts about That arose.
It seems that there is a lingering tendency to revert.
Thoughts of Doubt probably arise only every couple of days now.
There is always The Sweet Spot for reassurance.
To see a thought as a thought with as much significance as say the sound of the refrigerator.
With the thoughts content given a casual perusal to evaluate whether they are worthy of attention.
The mind is a magnificent tool, or tool-box really. It contains equipment to solve the trickiest puzzle.
It Doesn't need a Driver.
It All just Happens.
Somehow we've given the mind permission to make up things and to ascribe meaning and purpose to everything. It's good at doing this. It's obsessed with it. It's whole purpose seem now to be Script writing.
Now that casual perusal to evaluate the worthiness of Attention is based on whether the thought realtes to something real or whether just story writing. If it's opinion, judgement, then it part of a story.
So the crap thoughts flow. They ebb and flow in a seemingly chaotic manner. They are just ignored.
Simple, they are ignored. Not interested.
Paying them no attention very quickly weakens them. They come less often and with less vigour.
They don't need to be suppressed. Simple Awareness, the Light of Attention is sufficient to kill them.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Strange and wonderful things happen here.
Strange and wonderful things happen here.
We've now got a notion of the actuality that Everything in your current experiencing adds up to What IS, and that includes both pleasant and unpleasant sensations.
We also have the notion that Choice is made by the organisms brain some time before the mind (thoughts) kicks in.
So we have a notion of Surrender.
What can we do anyway?
There is no choice!
So all of a sudden you become Not the Driver but you discover that you were the passenger all along. So Surrender, Give Up. Enjoy the Ride. After all, what choice is there?
So with all this going on, guess what happens ?
The bodily sensations evaporate.
The brain has been re-wired to to a higher level of efficiency.
It now knows of the incredible waste of energy that the feedback loop of 'thought-feeling-more thought-more feeling...' was.
The thoughts that generated the fear sensation do have some persistance, that is they are triggered by certain conditions and will be triggered in the future, BUT each time you 'see' it occur, SIMPLE SEEING it will cause it to evaporate and be weakened further (that trigger becomes unwired), until pretty quickly it becomes only an occasional visit from the friend of old that has another message for you.
We've now got a notion of the actuality that Everything in your current experiencing adds up to What IS, and that includes both pleasant and unpleasant sensations.
We also have the notion that Choice is made by the organisms brain some time before the mind (thoughts) kicks in.
So we have a notion of Surrender.
What can we do anyway?
There is no choice!
So all of a sudden you become Not the Driver but you discover that you were the passenger all along. So Surrender, Give Up. Enjoy the Ride. After all, what choice is there?
So with all this going on, guess what happens ?
The bodily sensations evaporate.
The brain has been re-wired to to a higher level of efficiency.
It now knows of the incredible waste of energy that the feedback loop of 'thought-feeling-more thought-more feeling...' was.
The thoughts that generated the fear sensation do have some persistance, that is they are triggered by certain conditions and will be triggered in the future, BUT each time you 'see' it occur, SIMPLE SEEING it will cause it to evaporate and be weakened further (that trigger becomes unwired), until pretty quickly it becomes only an occasional visit from the friend of old that has another message for you.
Friday, January 13, 2012
i have a story...
..been sayin' for a while now that stories have a place. They are the script to negotiate a role. We have a script for son or daughter, or for mother father, or breadwinner or protector, or provider of love and many more. If we took the script for every role we have ever played plus the scripts, finished and still in progress for the future and bundled them all in together, we have a story. Your story. The Story of You. This is good. This is useful, but it is also a trap. A beautiful, sweet scented trap.
The Trap is to believe that this main character in the story is YOU.
IT IS NOT !
When you can see how stories are constructed, how thought builds a multi-dimensional character it's easy to be detached, in a literal sense, to be unattached to any fabrication.
Not identified with the character in the story.
...or is it ?
How do we know that there is no/not much/a little/a teeny weeny bit of identification with one/more stories?
Do we need/want to know?
What is 'to know' ?
What is 'identification' ?
The Trap is to believe that this main character in the story is YOU.
IT IS NOT !
When you can see how stories are constructed, how thought builds a multi-dimensional character it's easy to be detached, in a literal sense, to be unattached to any fabrication.
Not identified with the character in the story.
...or is it ?
How do we know that there is no/not much/a little/a teeny weeny bit of identification with one/more stories?
Do we need/want to know?
What is 'to know' ?
What is 'identification' ?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
QUESTION THREE: After going through the gate, what was your first arising doubt that your liberation/awakening was real? And how did this doubt fall away, or did it?
QUESTION THREE: After going through the gate, what was your first arising doubt that your liberation/awakening was real? And how did this doubt fall away, or did it?
Almost immediately doubts arose saying "This can't be it. It's too ordinary."
They were recognised as 'just more thoughts' that were now part of the 'What IS" and that they meant as much as a ticklish sensation might. They were now only part of a story, and this particular part was written by uninformed information about what it is like to be enlightened. So why would they deserve attention ?
Doubt says "please come back
to the safe familiar.
Thoughts, they make me sneeze !
Saturday, January 7, 2012
QUESTION TWO: WHAT was your first PROOF of a real change. How did you know by the difference in your perception/reaction/experience of "your life" post gate?
QUESTION TWO: WHAT was your first PROOF of a real change. How did you know by the difference in your perception/reaction/
Jiddu Krishnamurti seems to have started to speak more coherently. :-)
For 30 years i have been reading him, knowing that what he was saying was good & important but couldn't really relate to his words.
Yesterday, glancing at Flight of the Eagle, what he was saying is so clear. Wow!
see blog entry
There have been numerous incidents that would have had a corresponding physical reaction - that didn't.
There is an Ease to life-ing. A welcome acceptance to flow with whatever presents.
There are numerous attempts to seduce an I, back into believing the story - stories that just float by.
Life-ing is Wonder-Full.
There is no interest in being right. It feels that it would be impossible to get into an argument.
Oh, a big one (that i almost forgot) - Seeking has stopped. There is no more thirst for knowledge in the hope that it will help me 'get there'.
Jiddu Krishnamurti seems to have started to speak more coherently. :-)
For 30 years i have been reading him, knowing that what he was saying was good & important but couldn't really relate to his words.
Yesterday, glancing at Flight of the Eagle, what he was saying is so clear. Wow!
see blog entry
There have been numerous incidents that would have had a corresponding physical reaction - that didn't.
There is an Ease to life-ing. A welcome acceptance to flow with whatever presents.
There are numerous attempts to seduce an I, back into believing the story - stories that just float by.
Life-ing is Wonder-Full.
There is no interest in being right. It feels that it would be impossible to get into an argument.
Oh, a big one (that i almost forgot) - Seeking has stopped. There is no more thirst for knowledge in the hope that it will help me 'get there'.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Question One: How did you know that you had passed through the gate? What was the actual experience arising as you "got it" that there is no "I." Please be as specific as you can: body sensations, emotions, anything you can recall that arose in the actual moment of/right after this shift of perception from I to no-self
Question One: How did you know that you had passed through the gate? What was the actual experience arising as you "got it" that there is no "I." Please be as specific as you can: body sensations, emotions, anything you can recall that arose in the actual moment of/right after this shift of perception from I to no-self
In answer, referenced a post on this blog.
In answer, referenced a post on this blog.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
To help someone awaken.
It's a dance.
A beautiful, erotic dance.
There is an energetic but rhythmic, lead, be led, pulsation to this dance.
They say some words, you find a question.
They respond to the question.
You hone in on where the response comes from.
It's a dance towards infinity.
You don't know how long it will last.
i'm dancing six pages with two/not one at the moment.
It may culminate with the orgasmic explosion of Freedom,
or it may end with the lazy relaxed waltz of 'how ordinary'
Who knows?, Who cares? Who is there to know or to care ?
The dance isn't a dance between two people,
it's a dance of togetherness between a 'no I' and an I standing on a ledge.
The intertwining of 'what is' with a story of hope and despair,
makes for intimacy hypersensitivly (i love making new words) delicate.
The little death that is orgasm happens many times on each page, but,
"is this it?", "is it?", "no it can't be, it's too soon", "there hasn't been enough foreplay yet."
Each time the faintest spasm of recognition that promises absolute bliss, each time,
Thoughts come thundering in. "You don't want that !" "This isn't right !" "you'll go to hell !"
Thoughts that carry a wet blanket, a full bucket of water to douse a tiny spark.
Each time that happens, the dance moves into a new question,
gleaned from the unseen body language of the I about to jump.
Again and again to the quickening beat of the music, or is it my heart ?
"When will it end?" you ask, "for I can take no more"
It won't i tell the I, this is just the beginning,
So you might as well jump !
Have you ever seen an I splattered on the sidewalk ?
It's a beautiful, horrible wonder-full sight.
Well, not a sight, just seeing.
A beautiful, erotic dance.
There is an energetic but rhythmic, lead, be led, pulsation to this dance.
They say some words, you find a question.
They respond to the question.
You hone in on where the response comes from.
It's a dance towards infinity.
You don't know how long it will last.
i'm dancing six pages with two/not one at the moment.
It may culminate with the orgasmic explosion of Freedom,
or it may end with the lazy relaxed waltz of 'how ordinary'
Who knows?, Who cares? Who is there to know or to care ?
The dance isn't a dance between two people,
it's a dance of togetherness between a 'no I' and an I standing on a ledge.
The intertwining of 'what is' with a story of hope and despair,
makes for intimacy hypersensitivly (i love making new words) delicate.
The little death that is orgasm happens many times on each page, but,
"is this it?", "is it?", "no it can't be, it's too soon", "there hasn't been enough foreplay yet."
Each time the faintest spasm of recognition that promises absolute bliss, each time,
Thoughts come thundering in. "You don't want that !" "This isn't right !" "you'll go to hell !"
Thoughts that carry a wet blanket, a full bucket of water to douse a tiny spark.
Each time that happens, the dance moves into a new question,
gleaned from the unseen body language of the I about to jump.
Again and again to the quickening beat of the music, or is it my heart ?
"When will it end?" you ask, "for I can take no more"
It won't i tell the I, this is just the beginning,
So you might as well jump !
Have you ever seen an I splattered on the sidewalk ?
It's a beautiful, horrible wonder-full sight.
Well, not a sight, just seeing.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas day 2011
Thought today might be worthy of a rave...
The Sweet Spot.
When quiet and still and focused on a recognition of the fact that what is IS, the sweet spot is appreciated.
When there is a knowing that the situation as it stands is the current situation, the sweet spot is experienced.
When there is an acceptance of everything in the Now of this life, the sweet spot is known.
When the infinite details that make up the current experiencing are seen as irrelevant to the Fact of Now, the sweet spot is here.
When the bullshit that thought/mind is using to camouflage the actual is accepted as part of the actual, the sweet spot is now.
When welcome acceptance of the totality of Now is present, that is the Sweet Spot.
The Sweet Spot.
When quiet and still and focused on a recognition of the fact that what is IS, the sweet spot is appreciated.
When there is a knowing that the situation as it stands is the current situation, the sweet spot is experienced.
When there is an acceptance of everything in the Now of this life, the sweet spot is known.
When the infinite details that make up the current experiencing are seen as irrelevant to the Fact of Now, the sweet spot is here.
When the bullshit that thought/mind is using to camouflage the actual is accepted as part of the actual, the sweet spot is now.
When welcome acceptance of the totality of Now is present, that is the Sweet Spot.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
an update & a rave
feeling far less chatty about this now.
Guided Robin on Liberation Unleashed forum yesterday through the gate.
here if you want a read or are interested in the process.
Had already guided Joshua through the gate back around 15th Nov 2011.
Just mentioning this for the record...
Life seems very ordinary and if it weren't for the time spent on Facebook (Enlightenment Now, Unleashed, and LU Central) and the forum mentioned above, liberation might have a back seat to everyday life.
It seems that only when something happens and the reaction is different than it used to be that it comes to consciousness.
It's easy for doubts to arise about whether anything has actually happened - which of course it hasn't.
Let me explain (hmm, just start and chattiness comes)
Is realisation, seeing what already exists a happening ?
Seeing what was seen before but then dismissed.
One doesn't do seeing, except as a linguistic description. Seeing happens. No, Seeing exists.
The eye is not referred to with seeing. The object seen is not referred to. An automatic reaction occurs to seeing/seen. Example; walking, a corner is approached, turning, walking. No thinking required.
The same with what used to be an I with preferences. Now an automatic response to preferences. No I required. Preferences change as no I to anchor them. A willingness to discover old preferences may no longer be relevant.
Does thinking of air
happen when i breath the stuff ?
Breath-in(g) just occurs.
Guided Robin on Liberation Unleashed forum yesterday through the gate.
here if you want a read or are interested in the process.
Had already guided Joshua through the gate back around 15th Nov 2011.
Just mentioning this for the record...
Life seems very ordinary and if it weren't for the time spent on Facebook (Enlightenment Now, Unleashed, and LU Central) and the forum mentioned above, liberation might have a back seat to everyday life.
It seems that only when something happens and the reaction is different than it used to be that it comes to consciousness.
It's easy for doubts to arise about whether anything has actually happened - which of course it hasn't.
Let me explain (hmm, just start and chattiness comes)
Is realisation, seeing what already exists a happening ?
Seeing what was seen before but then dismissed.
One doesn't do seeing, except as a linguistic description. Seeing happens. No, Seeing exists.
The eye is not referred to with seeing. The object seen is not referred to. An automatic reaction occurs to seeing/seen. Example; walking, a corner is approached, turning, walking. No thinking required.
The same with what used to be an I with preferences. Now an automatic response to preferences. No I required. Preferences change as no I to anchor them. A willingness to discover old preferences may no longer be relevant.
Does thinking of air
happen when i breath the stuff ?
Breath-in(g) just occurs.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
for the record...
just for the record, to log every significant thing on this journey.
Yesterday, twice, out of me came an explosion of anger seemingly towards my wife about what i perceived to be her attitude towards, the first time, my brother, and the second time, my mother.
The significant thing was i hadn't thought it to be a big issue with me, and the strength of the explosion, and how quickly it became a non-issue for me (seemed to) as i held no lingering emotion about it.
i also was slightly bemused by my wife's 'sulking' about it. Almost difficult to understand how she could be hurt by my attack....
Yesterday, twice, out of me came an explosion of anger seemingly towards my wife about what i perceived to be her attitude towards, the first time, my brother, and the second time, my mother.
The significant thing was i hadn't thought it to be a big issue with me, and the strength of the explosion, and how quickly it became a non-issue for me (seemed to) as i held no lingering emotion about it.
i also was slightly bemused by my wife's 'sulking' about it. Almost difficult to understand how she could be hurt by my attack....
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Is it possible for a person be enlightened ?
This post is evoked by this one from thoughts of Gregory.
To brutally summarise it;
The self tricking itself into sitting in a different bit of itself which it identifies and labels as “knowing” or whatever and then has a great time watching all the other bits coming up and saying;
“Look! That’s not me .. oh .. and that’s not me .. and that’s a belief .. and that’s not real .. Oh .. how free I am ! Now I’m free .."
No enlightened person will say "I am enlightened" for obvious reasons, well obvious to another enlightened person anyway.
The reason being that enlightenment begins with a realisation (that is the act of making it real) that the "i" or "me" was always an hallucination. A concept built and maintained by the verbal functions of the brain.
Therefore, there is no I to be enlightened.
BUT we have a problem when it comes to communicating any aspect of what it is to not be ruled by a story of a self.
So talking about enlightenment is one thing.
Being (enlightened) is a wordless experience. (well not actually an experience) ...maybe wordless experiencing.
Somebody (not someone) that has seen through the illusion of a self, no longer conforming to a story about who they are, no longer concerned with the characteristics of an acceptable personality, would not have a running commentary about how they are (or should be), about how they react to circumstances. They would be reacting to the actuality of the situation they find themselves (not them not selves - see the problem with communicating.)
For example, when speaking to someone known, the enlightened would not consider remembered information about that person, nor would they imagine how that person might respond to the conversation. Past and future are thought constructs better left untouched lest they interfere with the actual.
So communication is a problem as it always can only be about it.
To brutally summarise it;
The self tricking itself into sitting in a different bit of itself which it identifies and labels as “knowing” or whatever and then has a great time watching all the other bits coming up and saying;
“Look! That’s not me .. oh .. and that’s not me .. and that’s a belief .. and that’s not real .. Oh .. how free I am ! Now I’m free .."
No enlightened person will say "I am enlightened" for obvious reasons, well obvious to another enlightened person anyway.
The reason being that enlightenment begins with a realisation (that is the act of making it real) that the "i" or "me" was always an hallucination. A concept built and maintained by the verbal functions of the brain.
Therefore, there is no I to be enlightened.
BUT we have a problem when it comes to communicating any aspect of what it is to not be ruled by a story of a self.
So talking about enlightenment is one thing.
Being (enlightened) is a wordless experience. (well not actually an experience) ...maybe wordless experiencing.
Somebody (not someone) that has seen through the illusion of a self, no longer conforming to a story about who they are, no longer concerned with the characteristics of an acceptable personality, would not have a running commentary about how they are (or should be), about how they react to circumstances. They would be reacting to the actuality of the situation they find themselves (not them not selves - see the problem with communicating.)
For example, when speaking to someone known, the enlightened would not consider remembered information about that person, nor would they imagine how that person might respond to the conversation. Past and future are thought constructs better left untouched lest they interfere with the actual.
So communication is a problem as it always can only be about it.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Too many words...
Over the past couple of days reading facebook posts, i have consumed thousands of words and excreted thousands more.
They all seemed meaningful at the time.
They all seem meaningless now.
They did have an effect on me at the time. They changed something as i assimilated their perceived meanings.
Now they are forgotten. Only the results of the integration of my reactions remain.
It makes up the new me, or more accurately they contributed to the enhanced story of me.
The pointing that they were may contribute to a new way of approaching circumstances. A different view of experiences.
Has life-ing changed ?
Different reactions, different experiencing, the same life.
They all seemed meaningful at the time.
They all seem meaningless now.
They did have an effect on me at the time. They changed something as i assimilated their perceived meanings.
Now they are forgotten. Only the results of the integration of my reactions remain.
It makes up the new me, or more accurately they contributed to the enhanced story of me.
The pointing that they were may contribute to a new way of approaching circumstances. A different view of experiences.
Has life-ing changed ?
Different reactions, different experiencing, the same life.
Monday, December 5, 2011
What is Enlightenment ?
What is Enlightenment ?
There is no answer to this.
It means different things to different people.
Certainly for those who have passed through the 'gateless gate' it is obvious how contaminated the word is.
If we look at a thesaurus, then the first three word that come up are insight, understanding & awareness.
There is no answer to this.
It means different things to different people.
Certainly for those who have passed through the 'gateless gate' it is obvious how contaminated the word is.
If we look at a thesaurus, then the first three word that come up are insight, understanding & awareness.
Insight, understanding and awareness of what ?
This is much easier to answer.
Insight, awareness that the I or Me is an illusion. (Deleted understanding as that is only intellectual.)
To see is not to realise (make real), but seeing can precede realisation.
Blind identification with an I/me is definitely UNenlightened.
Re-cognising that the concept of an I/me has a limited, but useful role to play in interacting with a world full of people who do have blind identification with an I/me, is enlightened behaviour.
If you are naturally left handed, but teachers and parents from a very young age always insisted that you use the right hand for all single handed tasks, you would grow up thinking that right handed-ness was natural for you and you would even have trouble writing with your left hand.
It had been a conditioning that you took as normal.
This is the case for the unenlightened. It is a conditioning that is taken as normal.
How does one learn to use their left hand again?
The first thing is to believe that it can be done. The next thing is to practise it.
This seems like work or discipline is required and if that is true then that is where the analogy must end.
In the case of the conditioning of thoughts to identify with an I/me, once it is seen that it is just conditioning then identification only occurs when buttons are pushed, when emotional responses are evoked then the old conditioning reasserts itself. This is usually for less time and with less intensity and fades with practice. In this case practising comes naturally most of the time and requires no discipline.
So what is a usual attitude of one who doesn't blindly identify with an I/me ?
This might be best answered by describing a thought process of one who does blindly identify.
When I believe that I own My thoughts, then I am responsible for them. That also means I must judge each thought according to a moral code (that They conditioned into My brain) As my behaviour is seen as a response to My thoughts, everything I do is also judged by that moral code. This means that every waking moment, I am being good or bad (or somewhere in between) and having an emotional response to that. How exhausting !
What an incredible release from all that, to wake up to the illusion of an I/me.
To react to 'what is' without all that emotional baggage allows an incredible amount of energy to be freed.
There is an easy, relaxed willingness to 'go with the flow'
There is a chuckle that bubbles up with each recognition of how it used to be, of how stress used to greet this situation. Everything from a red traffic light to a queue at the supermarket, or the wife interrupting your blog writing to do some chore.
Further to this is an appreciation of everything from the shape of a tree or the colour of the grass to the human-ness of somebody upset with somebody or something. (even yourself)
Don't quite know from where this emanates, possible a result of the extra energy available.
Ok, have run out of energy for all these words. Going to shower & bed now. May continue at another time. Probably will...
Sunday, December 4, 2011
What is it that can't find a self ?
Some say that there is a knowing that there is no self.
Here there is just a realisation that thoughts can't find an I.
The I was a thought construct, a concept.
The truth (a concept too) was arrived at by seeing the false.
The I was false. Or rather, no I found, that is all.
Thoughts are what i experience, but i can't call them mine.
Science shows that the brain decides 6 seconds before a thought thinks it decides.
see here
Thoughts just arise. Can't see where they come from.
Yet it's thoughts that decide that there is no I.
Well actually they don't decide, they just can't find one.
i don't know anything, don't even know that i'm not dreaming all this. Dreams seem so real when they're happening, just as this seems so real. So there is no knowing.
Can't find an I. Thoughts not mine. Don't know anything.
Is this freedom to experience directly ?
To simply watch life life-ing ?
Here there is just a realisation that thoughts can't find an I.
The I was a thought construct, a concept.
The truth (a concept too) was arrived at by seeing the false.
The I was false. Or rather, no I found, that is all.
Thoughts are what i experience, but i can't call them mine.
Science shows that the brain decides 6 seconds before a thought thinks it decides.
see here
Thoughts just arise. Can't see where they come from.
Yet it's thoughts that decide that there is no I.
Well actually they don't decide, they just can't find one.
i don't know anything, don't even know that i'm not dreaming all this. Dreams seem so real when they're happening, just as this seems so real. So there is no knowing.
Can't find an I. Thoughts not mine. Don't know anything.
Is this freedom to experience directly ?
To simply watch life life-ing ?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Where ever you are, BE STILL.
Where ever you are, BE STILL.
Go into that sensitive place where it feels like you are trying to be tiny.
You know, huddle down like you might as a kid hiding from everybody. Shut your eyes like if you can't see them then they can't see you.
Now go inside yourself, starting in your head and look for a self. Whatever it is that you call 'me'
Just for a moment keep looking down through your body right to your feet.
Can't find a 'me' anywhere in there ?
Of course not ! You are not there.
Now keeping your eyes closed, think about your left shoulder. Don't move. Just think about it.
Can you feel anything touching it without moving ? Don't move, just think about it.
Where does it stop and the space it is in start ?
Does the you that you couldn't find own the space around your shoulder ?
Does that space just melt into what you know as your shoulder ?
Where does one stop and the other start ?
Listen ! What sounds are there. Try starting with sounds that are inside, then sounds close outside this body, then sounds further away, then the fartherest away.
Instead of the sounds coming from away towards you, listen as if all sounds start in this body and move outwards (or inwards).
Try it....
Go into that sensitive place where it feels like you are trying to be tiny.
You know, huddle down like you might as a kid hiding from everybody. Shut your eyes like if you can't see them then they can't see you.
Now go inside yourself, starting in your head and look for a self. Whatever it is that you call 'me'
Just for a moment keep looking down through your body right to your feet.
Can't find a 'me' anywhere in there ?
Of course not ! You are not there.
Now keeping your eyes closed, think about your left shoulder. Don't move. Just think about it.
Can you feel anything touching it without moving ? Don't move, just think about it.
Where does it stop and the space it is in start ?
Does the you that you couldn't find own the space around your shoulder ?
Does that space just melt into what you know as your shoulder ?
Where does one stop and the other start ?
Listen ! What sounds are there. Try starting with sounds that are inside, then sounds close outside this body, then sounds further away, then the fartherest away.
Instead of the sounds coming from away towards you, listen as if all sounds start in this body and move outwards (or inwards).
Try it....
Friday, December 2, 2011
an urge arose...
An urge arose to express 'it' verbally.
With a head full of everybody from J. Krishnamurti to Seth to Jed McKenna - all similar to the sweetness of rocky road, i was seeking and seeking.
What was found was, an absence of all that. It is still sweet mind you. It was (and still is) the best entertainment. There was hardly a tv show or movie or anything else that could come close to being as entertaining,
Maybe it was part of the journey.
i guess that everything that has occurred to this mind/body has let to this point and so was part of the journey. A necessary part of the journey, i don't know.
But i digress...
The urge was to describe something small and close. So small that it almost needs a magnifying glass to see. So close that to even look, is to look past it.
It is the intimacy of NOW.
...going for a walk. Back soon.
WELL, just went for a walk and what i was trying to describe before was so BIG.
The sound of these footsteps had a clarity that was sharply inside this body, which expanded out to the sounds coming from blocks away. When the birdcall inside my head vibrated away to where ever the sound seemed to originate it compelled a whistle from these lips to mimic it. The feel of the wind seemed to stretch to somewhere over an ocean fifty kilometers away.
The bigness and the smallness, the closeness and the distance don't contradict each other.
They are the same thing.
i might call it ME, but that would trivialise it. i can't own it, for i am IT, or is it me. We are not WE as that implies separation.
Language requires compartmentalisation.
Just as when saying "that table has a brown top" doesn't mean it has no legs, or no shape. These things are ignored for the convenience of communication.
i imagine that the idea of a separate me started out as a convenience of communication and over generations became seen as an actuality. Brain conditioning.
What a loss. We live in paradise but somehow have come to believe something else.
What i want to describe can't be described.
The experience mentioned above didn't happen TO me. It wasn't done BY me. It was just experiencing happening and somehow there was a witness that chose this mind/body to be involved. Well... everything was involved, even you, but awareness-ing had limitations, probably for the convenience of not totally freaking out this mind/body, maybe.
This body isn't stoned, hasn't imbibed on mushrooms or LSD, but there are definite similarities.
Love for everybody and everything is happening. (just a language way of saying something)
The 'it' i started out to describe seemed to involve me. The end of the description seems to involve ALL of creation, and the as yet to be created and the created that has been uncreated.
Ah shit, maybe GOD is a language way to say it....
All of existence,
and all of everything else,
adds up to be me.
With a head full of everybody from J. Krishnamurti to Seth to Jed McKenna - all similar to the sweetness of rocky road, i was seeking and seeking.
What was found was, an absence of all that. It is still sweet mind you. It was (and still is) the best entertainment. There was hardly a tv show or movie or anything else that could come close to being as entertaining,
Maybe it was part of the journey.
i guess that everything that has occurred to this mind/body has let to this point and so was part of the journey. A necessary part of the journey, i don't know.
But i digress...
The urge was to describe something small and close. So small that it almost needs a magnifying glass to see. So close that to even look, is to look past it.
It is the intimacy of NOW.
...going for a walk. Back soon.
WELL, just went for a walk and what i was trying to describe before was so BIG.
The sound of these footsteps had a clarity that was sharply inside this body, which expanded out to the sounds coming from blocks away. When the birdcall inside my head vibrated away to where ever the sound seemed to originate it compelled a whistle from these lips to mimic it. The feel of the wind seemed to stretch to somewhere over an ocean fifty kilometers away.
The bigness and the smallness, the closeness and the distance don't contradict each other.
They are the same thing.
i might call it ME, but that would trivialise it. i can't own it, for i am IT, or is it me. We are not WE as that implies separation.
Language requires compartmentalisation.
Just as when saying "that table has a brown top" doesn't mean it has no legs, or no shape. These things are ignored for the convenience of communication.
i imagine that the idea of a separate me started out as a convenience of communication and over generations became seen as an actuality. Brain conditioning.
What a loss. We live in paradise but somehow have come to believe something else.
What i want to describe can't be described.
The experience mentioned above didn't happen TO me. It wasn't done BY me. It was just experiencing happening and somehow there was a witness that chose this mind/body to be involved. Well... everything was involved, even you, but awareness-ing had limitations, probably for the convenience of not totally freaking out this mind/body, maybe.
This body isn't stoned, hasn't imbibed on mushrooms or LSD, but there are definite similarities.
Love for everybody and everything is happening. (just a language way of saying something)
The 'it' i started out to describe seemed to involve me. The end of the description seems to involve ALL of creation, and the as yet to be created and the created that has been uncreated.
Ah shit, maybe GOD is a language way to say it....
All of existence,
and all of everything else,
adds up to be me.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Trust means not 'doing'
A point of departure from seeking happened for me when Eric said something like "Trust.... " (i don't even remember what he meant for me to trust now), But it was a letting go of the need to do anything. It was an acceptance that everything necessary exists in me and in my world. In Jed McKennas' words (paraphrased) "Let go of the tiller and the boat will steer itself better than i ever could"
It is sometimes hard, no, sometimes i forget and grab the tiller again, sometimes in panic 'cos it think i am going to hit some rocks, and sometimes just automatically from habit. Usually it isn't too long before realisation that it has happened occurs, and i chuckle and it is released
It is sometimes hard, no, sometimes i forget and grab the tiller again, sometimes in panic 'cos it think i am going to hit some rocks, and sometimes just automatically from habit. Usually it isn't too long before realisation that it has happened occurs, and i chuckle and it is released
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Have no opinion !
If i have an idea, a view, an opinion about something or somebody, then what i see, interact with is that internal mind generated concept and NOT the actual somebody or something.
How is it possible to not have opinion ?
How is it possible to not have opinion ?
Thank you Ed
Drop all of your ideas about what awakening is like, what the teacher/student relation is supposed to be, what duties you still have post-awakening, post awakening paths and problems, etc. All these things will happen to you, awakening, bliss, love, etc., the more quickly you drop your wondering what it is and just focus and seeing and enjoying yourselves and others to whom you relate. Mind, opinions, theories, judgments, and self-checking are the way the mind prevents your freedom.Ed Muzika
After my post yesterday this appeared on Facebook this morning. (is that synchronistic?)
After my post yesterday this appeared on Facebook this morning. (is that synchronistic?)
Saturday, November 26, 2011
the right question
Paraphrasing Jed McKenna, "the right question is way more important than any answer." "the right question is the one you don't want to ask" "you will know it's the right question by resistance/avoidance"
Very loose paraphrasing, but no point looking for the actual quote - the gist is here, so...
What is the right question ?
Seems like i am seeking again here, so, having passed through the gate, what am i seeking ?
What am i seeking ?
Good question.
Looking, looking... i could say deepening but that is a concept, and a vague one at that.
Looking for the sonic boom that didn't happen on stream entry ? Even though that is recognised as thoughts left over from a time when a fantasy enlightenment looked like the ultimate escape from emotional pain, it still has some energy.
There was nothing i could do to gain stream entry and certainly nothing i can do to generate a blissful high (other than do drugs - which won't help this journey from here) So i guess i'll just have to live with remnant thoughts/desires.
It's a pretty busy life appreciating now, so those thoughts will just arise and pass away. (anicca)
I wanted some bliss,
so life could be wonderful.
Now it's wonder-full.
Very loose paraphrasing, but no point looking for the actual quote - the gist is here, so...
What is the right question ?
Seems like i am seeking again here, so, having passed through the gate, what am i seeking ?
What am i seeking ?
Good question.
Looking, looking... i could say deepening but that is a concept, and a vague one at that.
Looking for the sonic boom that didn't happen on stream entry ? Even though that is recognised as thoughts left over from a time when a fantasy enlightenment looked like the ultimate escape from emotional pain, it still has some energy.
There was nothing i could do to gain stream entry and certainly nothing i can do to generate a blissful high (other than do drugs - which won't help this journey from here) So i guess i'll just have to live with remnant thoughts/desires.
It's a pretty busy life appreciating now, so those thoughts will just arise and pass away. (anicca)
I wanted some bliss,
so life could be wonderful.
Now it's wonder-full.
Friday, November 25, 2011
further
"Look close at the most precious beliefs that are close to the heart, in no touch zone. They are the ones that you really want to inspect up close. You will recognise them by feeling resistance. Follow resistance. It is here to let you know that another bit of lie is sitting somewhere waiting to be noticed." Ilona
Beliefs, resistance. Looking, looking.
A current belief is that there aren't any beliefs left. But that is too convenient. Of course there are beliefs that are required to make daily life work. (i believe i will wake up in the morning, etc.) But beliefs about a self ? To say "no", which is the first reaction, is this resistance ?
Will consider while i shower...
Anthony Amrhein asked on Facebook a few seconds ago "What are you trying to unlock or open up, exactly?"
Beliefs, resistance. Looking, looking.
A current belief is that there aren't any beliefs left. But that is too convenient. Of course there are beliefs that are required to make daily life work. (i believe i will wake up in the morning, etc.) But beliefs about a self ? To say "no", which is the first reaction, is this resistance ?
Will consider while i shower...
Anthony Amrhein asked on Facebook a few seconds ago "What are you trying to unlock or open up, exactly?"
Is this synchronistic ?
Unlock, Open up ???
First response is Jed McKennas' "Further"
Going for that shower now...
No good answers, just "further, further..."
Will sleep on it...
Woke up seemingly normally but an hour later was extremely irritable, snapping at my wife over trivial stuff.
Certainly there have been occasions since 'it' happened where the reaction to frustration has been irritability, but on those occasions it dissipated with the seeing of what was happening within minutes. This time it lasted for about an hour in spite of seeing it.
Investigation took me straight back to the stuff above.
What is this resistance to ?
What belief was/am i hanging on to ?
The first answer that arose was that i still wanted the bliss, the high that i used to believe came with Enlightenment (that's what i was seeking)
Even though there was recognition that these were only thoughts, the irritability persisted. It must be something deeper. This was just a ploy to avoid looking deeper.
Being only a week or so away from returning home from this trip, the story of what i will tell my long time (25 years) meditation buddy has happened to Vince sounds so lame.
"Oh, by the way, while i was away i 'saw' the illusion of a self."
My wife also is unimpressed. i guess she is thinking "Oh, just Vince being weird again."
This desire for something substantial to show for 'stream entry' was possibly behing this mornings hissy fit.
Further...
Keep open to deeper.
Accept that conditioning will continue for some time.
illusions
Enlightenment, like God, is a word that means different things to different people.
Because of the assumptions and preconceptions which are often highly emotive, they can be considered contaminated words and not used unless accompanied by definitions.
Liberation is a more appropriate word for 'stream entry', a Buddhist term for someone who has realised (made real) or seen at an experiential level the illusion of a 'self' (and some other stuff - see here)
The illusion of permanence is also another one the Buddhists place great emphasis on.
The illusion of knowing another person.
The illusion of knowing anything at all.
The illusion of Truth (see here for an exposition this and the previous illusion)
A caveat on knowing anything and Truth is that these may not be illusion for somebody more fully realised. i have no insight for this - yet.
Illusion of the existence of an entity called society, church, government, etc., anything that is a name for a collection of events or people. It is the generalisation (an illusion) that constitutes the evil (another illusion) and makes for 'isms. (racism, nationalism etc.)
The illusion of Ownership.
The illusion of the inevitability of suffering.
The illusion of the future/past.
The illusion of good/bad.
In fact, if it is said that seeing what is real as distinct to what is illusion, then we get to a position where the only reality is the wordless happening of NOW. (it can only be described post event)
Does this make everything else illusion?
Monday, November 21, 2011
Experience
James asked me here "Experientially, does experience belong to the body, or is the body part of experience?"
The reply went "Hi James, (in my experience :))they can't be separated.
When this body experiences, it is both the experienced and the experiencer.
The experience can't be experienced without the body just as the body can't exist (be perceived) without the experience."
Experience was.
Happenings remembered.
Only now is real.
The reply went "Hi James, (in my experience :))they can't be separated.
When this body experiences, it is both the experienced and the experiencer.
The experience can't be experienced without the body just as the body can't exist (be perceived) without the experience."
But now to take this a little deeper...
What is experience?
Is it a reaction to something? re-action...
Is it action, as in primary activity ? Is all action really re-action ?
2 day break...
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts and couldn't arrive at what experience actually is, then Aha!
Experience is an illusion too. Like thoughts, experience is a label, a concept to explain happenings that have already happened.
Experience is memory about thoughts &/or sensations that have occurred in the past (albeit sometimes only seconds ago, but nevertheless in the past) usually as a reaction to circumstances.
2 day break...
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts and couldn't arrive at what experience actually is, then Aha!
Experience is an illusion too. Like thoughts, experience is a label, a concept to explain happenings that have already happened.
Experience is memory about thoughts &/or sensations that have occurred in the past (albeit sometimes only seconds ago, but nevertheless in the past) usually as a reaction to circumstances.
Experience was.
Happenings remembered.
Only now is real.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
intention
Mariana Caplan is quoted as saying here in Suzanne Foxtons' blog Nothing Exists, Despite Appearances;
"...Or is it best to entirely relax all semblance of control, and let life live you?"
Thoughts arise saying that "...let life live you" is all that can happen anyway.
Whether relaxed or uptight (or anything else) makes no difference to the fact of 'life-ing' happening.
It's an illusion to believe that choice exists.
Yet...
Relaxed or uptight will have an effect on how it happens.
Yet...
If choice is an illusion, then how can relaxation predominate over stress ?
It seems that future thoughts or feelings can be influenced by intention.
Not the exact thought of feeling but their flavour.
This may be a moot point, as when the welcoming of 'what is' exists (how do we choose this, if choice is an illusion?), then everything is OK, and a relaxed attitude follows.
Welcoming 'what IS',
relaxing into the 'now',
opens up the heart.
"...Or is it best to entirely relax all semblance of control, and let life live you?"
Thoughts arise saying that "...let life live you" is all that can happen anyway.
Whether relaxed or uptight (or anything else) makes no difference to the fact of 'life-ing' happening.
It's an illusion to believe that choice exists.
Yet...
Relaxed or uptight will have an effect on how it happens.
Yet...
If choice is an illusion, then how can relaxation predominate over stress ?
It seems that future thoughts or feelings can be influenced by intention.
Not the exact thought of feeling but their flavour.
This may be a moot point, as when the welcoming of 'what is' exists (how do we choose this, if choice is an illusion?), then everything is OK, and a relaxed attitude follows.
Welcoming 'what IS',
relaxing into the 'now',
opens up the heart.
Friday, November 18, 2011
doubts
When asked by Ilona on the LiberationUnleashed forum last night if there were any doubts about having passed through the gate (to Liberation), the reply was;
"No doubts anywhere..."
That was last night.
This morning, woke with thoughts arising that went like this; "surely this can't be IT", "this is too ordinary to be IT", "there would be definite knowledge if..."
These thoughts might be labelled as doubts, but there is an immediate recognition that they are only thoughts.
No matter what thoughts arise, there can be no doubt that any idea of a me is entirely conceptual.
There simply isn't anything to anchor a certainty to, that this is IT.
"No doubts anywhere..."
That was last night.
This morning, woke with thoughts arising that went like this; "surely this can't be IT", "this is too ordinary to be IT", "there would be definite knowledge if..."
These thoughts might be labelled as doubts, but there is an immediate recognition that they are only thoughts.
No matter what thoughts arise, there can be no doubt that any idea of a me is entirely conceptual.
There simply isn't anything to anchor a certainty to, that this is IT.
Pain, Suffering & Happiness
There is a somewhat cliched saying that goes "You should live every day of your life like it it your last day on earth."
The 'New Age' genre has taken this to mean something like "live life with gusto". To analyse this a little further, they mean that to be inhibited by possible negative consequences is to limit achievement, and thus limit happiness. This implies happiness it a result of achievement. This is False.
Happiness is the default state for human beings.
In the absence of all conceptual thinking, happiness remains. Even with the existence of pain there is happiness.
Some elaboration here.
Suffering is entirely caused by thinking.
Suffering can exist even without physical pain.
You might say suffering is emotional pain.
Physical pain + concept = suffering is also true.
The body has it's own way of handling pain.
Pain is a messenger, with the intent to protect the body. Obviously there is value to heed it.
Our culture has seemingly forgotten that and treats all pain as an enemy to be subdued.
Consider a headache. i am feeling sorry for myself (suffering) when something interesting comes along and for a while there is no thought or feeling of the headache. Later when attention falls away from the diversion awareness of the pain returns, and so the actual pain returns.
Had it gone while i was diverted, or was i just unaware of it. Can awareness of the pain, and the actual pain, be separated?
What about the occasions when discovering an injury that has left blood, but having no recollection of doing it. Logically, there would have been pain, but there is no memory of it. There is just a wound that the mind says "Oh, I must have bumped it against something..."
But enough of pain, what about Happiness?
Not the high of yippee-ness, or blissed out ecstasy. That is beyond happiness and obviously can't be sustained.
A sense of "all is well", of a harmony with circumstances that exists in the background of current happenings. When focused on, elicits a feeling of quiet pleasure.
This is the happiness that exists when the absence of concept is realised. (the convention of language makes it seem that happiness (a noun) exists in it's own right as a separate thing to be owned, but that isn't how it is meant here. It is just a clumsy description for awareness of a sense of something.)
Nothing needs to be done, in fact nothing can be done to achieve it.
It exists in the absence of the belief that a concept is real. The concept of Self, the concept of Future or Past, the concept of good or bad. Probably any concept.
Happiness just is,
when I don't chase it away.
Oh how wonder-full.
Death doesn't exist !
Two weeks ago i was having a conversation with my father-in-law.
Ten days ago he was in a hospital bed full of morphine, unable to communicate with us.
One week ago we buried him.
Now he is a memory.
That is he exists only as thoughts. He has become conceptual to this mind/body.
Did i consider my own and others eventual demise because of this experience? Yes.
BUT, it was recognised that they were just thoughts. It was conceptual.
What is real is now, and now, and now...
My death is a thought,
until it really happens.
today i'm living.
Ten days ago he was in a hospital bed full of morphine, unable to communicate with us.
One week ago we buried him.
Now he is a memory.
That is he exists only as thoughts. He has become conceptual to this mind/body.
Did i consider my own and others eventual demise because of this experience? Yes.
BUT, it was recognised that they were just thoughts. It was conceptual.
What is real is now, and now, and now...
My death is a thought,
until it really happens.
today i'm living.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
the meaning of life...
Just reading a blog wherein some 'free' bods talking about the meaning of life.
Here is a take on it....
Q: what is the meaning of life ?
Hmm, first thought is that mind needs/wants to give meaning to everything. That's what minds do.
A cliche'd response is "life is it's own meaning".
This presumes that there is a thing called life (a noun) and that meaning (purpose) is intrinsic to it.
'Life' like 'Truth' is one of those words that are used as a noun but don't actually exist. An anomaly in our language.
'Life' is what we call the process of 'Living'. It's a language convention. It's uncritical thinking that leads to believing a language convention actually has literal meaning as a thing.
What is 'Life' ?
Is there a thing called 'Life' separate from a person (mind/body)?
If there were no people on this planet we would say that there was still life here. The plants and animals are the obvious 'living' things.
So now it becomes a little clearer that what we call 'life' is the process of coming into existence, growing (or evolving) then dying (after which, there is no life left)
Less commonly considered would be the life of a rock. Technically it comes into being from some process (compression or a volcano etc) gets moved about by various means, gets eroded back to dust (dies). There is no evolution during its 'life-time'
Clearly the process between birth and death is what we mean by 'life' when we consider plants and rocks (animals may fit here or with the following...) but when we talk about humans, we are referring not to what takes place internally, but what happens TO them. "Life did that to him." etc.
If 'life' doesn't exist as a separate thing, then obviously is can't do anything to anybody.
Life is just as much an illusion, a story, as Self is, therefore is is impossible for meaning to be intrinsic to it. Meaning can only be ascribed to Life. It is just part of the story that is constructed by mind (thoughts)
Of course all of the above is from this limited mind perspective, so it is absolutely NOT a complete view.
There are those who claim to recognise Oneness that say there is purpose to it all....
Can life have meaning,
when happenings called living,
only happen now.
Here is a take on it....
Q: what is the meaning of life ?
Hmm, first thought is that mind needs/wants to give meaning to everything. That's what minds do.
A cliche'd response is "life is it's own meaning".
This presumes that there is a thing called life (a noun) and that meaning (purpose) is intrinsic to it.
'Life' like 'Truth' is one of those words that are used as a noun but don't actually exist. An anomaly in our language.
'Life' is what we call the process of 'Living'. It's a language convention. It's uncritical thinking that leads to believing a language convention actually has literal meaning as a thing.
What is 'Life' ?
Is there a thing called 'Life' separate from a person (mind/body)?
If there were no people on this planet we would say that there was still life here. The plants and animals are the obvious 'living' things.
So now it becomes a little clearer that what we call 'life' is the process of coming into existence, growing (or evolving) then dying (after which, there is no life left)
Less commonly considered would be the life of a rock. Technically it comes into being from some process (compression or a volcano etc) gets moved about by various means, gets eroded back to dust (dies). There is no evolution during its 'life-time'
Clearly the process between birth and death is what we mean by 'life' when we consider plants and rocks (animals may fit here or with the following...) but when we talk about humans, we are referring not to what takes place internally, but what happens TO them. "Life did that to him." etc.
If 'life' doesn't exist as a separate thing, then obviously is can't do anything to anybody.
Life is just as much an illusion, a story, as Self is, therefore is is impossible for meaning to be intrinsic to it. Meaning can only be ascribed to Life. It is just part of the story that is constructed by mind (thoughts)
Of course all of the above is from this limited mind perspective, so it is absolutely NOT a complete view.
There are those who claim to recognise Oneness that say there is purpose to it all....
Can life have meaning,
when happenings called living,
only happen now.
Monday, November 14, 2011
current situation...
What is the current situation, a week after going through the gate?
Still no sonic boom, still no Aha! of seeing anything exciting, just a continual awareness that Vince was all made up and that THIS is all there is.
By THIS i mean WHAT IS happening now, and now, and now...
Sounds of typing is happening, sounds of cars are happening, sounds of Tinnitus is happening.
No thoughts of the past or future are needed for this typing, so no such thoughts.
Feeling a slight fullness in the stomach region after eating tea a few minutes ago.
Waiting, waiting for the next words to form on the screen. Hmm, how is waiting experienced ? It's just a stillness that has a sensation of emptiness, a kind of vacuum that sucks words from somewhere. The word emptiness came out spelled wrongly and a red line formed under it. Without verbal thought, a right mouse click and insert the correction.
As boring as this might seem, it isn't. Life is mostly like this now, and now, etc.
It's actually very freeing. Hmm, that is there is no weight of what has to be done. A trust that everything that needs doing will get done, and above all i don't need to 'do' Vince. Everything just happens.
Lost in the 'doing' happens.
i watched a movie this afternoon with my wife and her two sisters. As it finished one sister looked at me and said "You've been crying" at which point i realised that it was true. It wasn't a sad movie and i couldn't say why i had been crying. It was emotional and i was lost in it. There was no awareness of a me until she spoke to me.
Life is becoming that way. Lost in each activity that happens. Just being reactive. Present circumstances telling me what is required now, and now, and now...
Life is a story.
Living is doing it now.
It all just happens.
Friday, November 11, 2011
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The you that you think of as you is not you.
The you that thinks of you as you is not you.
There is no you, so who wishes to become enlightened?
Who will become enlightened?
Who will be enlightened?
You cannot fail to achieve enlightenment.
Were you told otherwise?
Irresistible forces compel you. The universe insists.
It is not within your power to fail.
It lies in all directions at all times.
On the journey to enlightenment, you create and destroy
your own path with every step.
No one can step off the path.
No one can lead another.
No one can stop.
more immediate than your next breath,
and forever beyond your reach.
It cannot be found because it cannot be lost.
It cannot be lost because it is not other than that which seeks.
Is that not the damnedest thing?