doubts

When asked by Ilona on the LiberationUnleashed forum last night if there were any doubts about having passed through the gate (to Liberation), the reply was;
"No doubts anywhere..."
That was last night.
This morning, woke with thoughts arising that went like this; "surely this can't be IT", "this is too ordinary to be IT", "there would be definite knowledge if..." 
These thoughts might be labelled as doubts, but there is an immediate recognition that they are only thoughts.

No matter what thoughts arise, there can be no doubt that any idea of a me is entirely conceptual.
There simply isn't anything to anchor a certainty to, that this is IT.

Pain, Suffering & Happiness

There is a somewhat cliched saying that goes "You should live every day of your life like it it your last day on earth."
The 'New Age' genre has taken this to mean something like "live life with gusto". To analyse this a little further, they mean that to be inhibited by possible negative consequences is to limit achievement, and thus limit happiness. This implies happiness it a result of achievement. This is False.
Happiness is the default state for human beings.
In the absence of all conceptual thinking, happiness remains. Even with the existence of pain there is happiness.
Some elaboration here.
Suffering is entirely caused by thinking.
Suffering can exist even without physical pain.
You might say suffering is emotional pain.
Physical pain + concept =  suffering is also true.
The body has it's own way of handling pain.
Pain is a messenger, with the intent to protect the body. Obviously there is value to heed it.
Our culture has seemingly forgotten that and treats all pain as an enemy to be subdued.
Consider a headache. i am feeling sorry for myself (suffering) when something interesting comes along and for a while there is no thought or feeling of the headache. Later when attention falls away from the diversion awareness of the pain returns, and so the actual pain returns.
Had it gone while i was diverted, or was i just unaware of it. Can awareness of the pain, and the actual pain, be separated?
What about the occasions when discovering an injury that has left blood, but having no recollection of doing it. Logically, there would have been pain, but there is no memory of it. There is just a wound that the mind says "Oh, I must have bumped it against something..."
But enough of pain, what about Happiness?
Not the high of yippee-ness, or blissed out ecstasy. That is beyond happiness and obviously can't be sustained.
A sense of "all is well", of a harmony with circumstances that exists in the background of current happenings. When focused on, elicits a feeling of quiet pleasure.
This is the happiness that exists when the absence of concept is realised. (the convention of language makes it seem that happiness (a noun) exists in it's own right as a separate thing to be owned, but that isn't how it is meant here. It is just a clumsy description for awareness of a sense of something.)
Nothing needs to be done, in fact nothing can be done to achieve it.
It exists in the absence of the belief that a concept is real. The concept of Self, the concept of Future or Past, the concept of good or bad. Probably any concept.

Happiness just is,
when I don't chase it away.
Oh how wonder-full.

Death doesn't exist !

Two weeks ago i was having a conversation with my father-in-law.
Ten days ago he was in a hospital bed full of morphine, unable to communicate with us.
One week ago we buried him.
Now he is a memory.
That is he exists only as thoughts. He has become conceptual to this mind/body.
Did i consider my own and others eventual demise because of this experience? Yes.
BUT, it was recognised that they were just thoughts. It was conceptual.
What is real is now, and now, and now...

My death is a thought,
until it really happens.
today i'm living.