There may be parallels (or not) between your experience and mine.
For me it was a subtle, gradual awakening.
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened.
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing.
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly.
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened.
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing.
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly.
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)
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