Experience is what counts in this realm.
An intellectual understanding is just thoughts unless resonation occurs.
i have an intellectual understanding that the i/me i think i am is just that. Thinking i am.
i understand that the immersion in the details of that story is what 'hides' reality.
i believe that the story is where the separation from everybody and everything else occurs.
i can see how that separation is the illusion that creates the beginning of suffering.
The mind creates a bubble, inside of which everything is the story.
I am a character in that story. I am a dreamt one.
Each time it comes to me that i am a dreamt one, i realise that i am someone else's character in their dream.
(that someone else may indeed be a (presumably greater) me dreaming the me i think i am.)
Normal definitions of dreaming would go something like this;
A person is asleep (although day dreams are common )
It is the persons mind that creates the cast and props. Everything is a production of the mind.
That there is some value from the 'showing' of production.
Presumption: That an 'awakened' person know that they are 'awake'
i don't know it, ergo. i'm not.
Therefore i am a 'dreamt' one in someone's dream.
Therefore...
free will?
How can there be free will when i am displaying someone's need for expression?
determinism?
How can events be determined when someone doesn't even know their own need for expression to the point where it has to be expressed in a dream?
agnostic?
Best bet. If i take myself to be dreamt by a more primal me, how do i know that the dreamer of me isn't himself a dreamt one in an even more primal me. (in fact this is the most believable concept for me)
This in fact goes back infinitely. It had no beginning and will have no end.
There is no dreamer at the beginning (turtles all the way down!)
There is only dreamt one.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
another glimpse was...
Another glimpse was how people create 'what if' scenarios then react to them as if they were real, thereby making it real.
It all started when i was sitting in my daughters house talking to her.
We were in the lounge room and i was looking out the window as i explained to her that it was too difficult for me to fix her reversing lights when her car appeared to be moving backwards!
i dashed to my feet and ran outside just in time to see it crash through the gate, collecting both front doors and folding them right around against the front mudguards on its way across the road and crashed into the front left side headlight and pushing the front of my car across about a yard.
Well, there is the original flush of adrenaline, then the shock while assessment occurs. Here is where the 'what if' scenarios start. i guess habit might kick in with the type of constructs that happen. A pessimist would instantly look for the worst possible outcomes while an optimist will build equally detailed possibilities for the future. These will occur because of the mind being in its element when it comes to constructing stories. The problem comes when a person reacts to the constructs as though they were real with great emotion.
One of us reacted to the possibility that my 2yr old grandson might have been behind the car and would have surely been killed or at least maimed severely. The other reacted with great relief that my car was there to stop hers from crashing through the flimsy back gate and down a steep hill into the bedroom of a house. Both were emotional reactions to 'what if' stories.
It was then it hit me. i saw the incredible influence this has on normal daily life. We are constantly reacting to 'what if' scenarios.
what if i get rich?
what if poverty moves in?
what if 'i don't know?'
It all started when i was sitting in my daughters house talking to her.
We were in the lounge room and i was looking out the window as i explained to her that it was too difficult for me to fix her reversing lights when her car appeared to be moving backwards!
i dashed to my feet and ran outside just in time to see it crash through the gate, collecting both front doors and folding them right around against the front mudguards on its way across the road and crashed into the front left side headlight and pushing the front of my car across about a yard.
Well, there is the original flush of adrenaline, then the shock while assessment occurs. Here is where the 'what if' scenarios start. i guess habit might kick in with the type of constructs that happen. A pessimist would instantly look for the worst possible outcomes while an optimist will build equally detailed possibilities for the future. These will occur because of the mind being in its element when it comes to constructing stories. The problem comes when a person reacts to the constructs as though they were real with great emotion.
One of us reacted to the possibility that my 2yr old grandson might have been behind the car and would have surely been killed or at least maimed severely. The other reacted with great relief that my car was there to stop hers from crashing through the flimsy back gate and down a steep hill into the bedroom of a house. Both were emotional reactions to 'what if' stories.
It was then it hit me. i saw the incredible influence this has on normal daily life. We are constantly reacting to 'what if' scenarios.
what if i get rich?
what if poverty moves in?
what if 'i don't know?'
one of the glimpses i had this week was...
i saw the interconnected of everything that resulted in a happening and the interconnectedness of everything going forward from that happening.
i was visiting a friend in hospital after he had an accident when i had an accident.
He said that it was his fault because if i wasn't there visiting him i wouldn't have had my accident.
i then said that no it was his wife's fault as had she not been there to take him home then i would be doing that and not be where my accident occurred. i then reasoned that it was their parents fault 'cos if they hadn't been born then circumstances would be different. Then i say that even the weather had a part to play as if it had been raining i wouldn't have been there either. i saw how it could be extrapolated to include the entire physical world, all of history and even everybody's attitude. EVERYTHING had colluded in my accident.
i was visiting a friend in hospital after he had an accident when i had an accident.
He said that it was his fault because if i wasn't there visiting him i wouldn't have had my accident.
i then said that no it was his wife's fault as had she not been there to take him home then i would be doing that and not be where my accident occurred. i then reasoned that it was their parents fault 'cos if they hadn't been born then circumstances would be different. Then i say that even the weather had a part to play as if it had been raining i wouldn't have been there either. i saw how it could be extrapolated to include the entire physical world, all of history and even everybody's attitude. EVERYTHING had colluded in my accident.
...Ok, i admit it.
...ok, i admit it. It is the rush i want.
The rush of realisation that i am not who i thought I was.
The rush of realisation that i am effortlessly residing in the realisation.
i had a couple of minuscule glimpses of Truth in the last couple of days and although beautiful lacked the excitement of discovery. (well, they were more like the flash of a concept that resonated truth)
my current concept of the 'enlightened' state (advaita cops - piss off!) is as follows;
a constant great big wide grin, wide eyed at the wonder of the discovery of everything and everybody as if it were a first time, welcome, wonder-ful encounter.
The full bodied ingestion of information and spirit of the current experience. Like a baby, no judgement, just awareness drinking in 'what is'.
Great joy.
There is effortless awareness of what is happening in the mind which has changed it's role from head honcho to hired consultant.
The much reduced stress levels resulting from no longer responding to 'what if' scenarios creating a body more in harmony with itself.
No more inappropriate ingestions.
A healthier body.
No more responding to the mind story that results from a reaction to what somebody says and elicits an emotional outburst. A calm reasoned, compassionate response to everything anybody says or does.
Better relationships.
The above seems perfectly reasonable to me.
(as a teacher recently said to me, "is that too much to ask?" [huh!]) <- that sounds like the beginning of a 'what if' story to me.
But i digress...
Although it seems quite attainable, it IS just a concept and the chances of reality coinciding with a concept are not good.
So, this remains just part of the best story i can come up with - while i wait for that transformative NOW.
The rush of realisation that i am not who i thought I was.
The rush of realisation that i am effortlessly residing in the realisation.
i had a couple of minuscule glimpses of Truth in the last couple of days and although beautiful lacked the excitement of discovery. (well, they were more like the flash of a concept that resonated truth)
my current concept of the 'enlightened' state (advaita cops - piss off!) is as follows;
a constant great big wide grin, wide eyed at the wonder of the discovery of everything and everybody as if it were a first time, welcome, wonder-ful encounter.
The full bodied ingestion of information and spirit of the current experience. Like a baby, no judgement, just awareness drinking in 'what is'.
Great joy.
There is effortless awareness of what is happening in the mind which has changed it's role from head honcho to hired consultant.
The much reduced stress levels resulting from no longer responding to 'what if' scenarios creating a body more in harmony with itself.
No more inappropriate ingestions.
A healthier body.
No more responding to the mind story that results from a reaction to what somebody says and elicits an emotional outburst. A calm reasoned, compassionate response to everything anybody says or does.
Better relationships.
The above seems perfectly reasonable to me.
(as a teacher recently said to me, "is that too much to ask?" [huh!]) <- that sounds like the beginning of a 'what if' story to me.
But i digress...
Although it seems quite attainable, it IS just a concept and the chances of reality coinciding with a concept are not good.
So, this remains just part of the best story i can come up with - while i wait for that transformative NOW.
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