There seems to have taken place
some kind of change,
a simplification
of Life-ing.
The need to express
with words has diminished,
or perhaps the need for any expression
has withdrawn a considerable amount.
As i read the postings at Liberation Unleashed
i keep wanting to shout out "IT IS JUST WHAT IT IS"
and "IT CAN'T BE CHANGED ANYWAY SO THERE MIGHT AS WELL BE ABSOLUTE ACCEPTANCE OF IT." and "IF YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE THEN WHAT YOU'VE GOT IS FUCKING WONDER-FULL"
and stuff like that.
It IS what it is,
this wonder-full world of ours.
This world full of Wonder.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The day after the funeral...
Lots of emotion yesterday left me feeling light with difficulty concentrating.
Well not actually concentrating but felt that words (spoken and written) were a waste, unnecessary.
It was like i couldn't be bothered to work out what others meant.
Part of me said that there was no point in working it out anyway as it was excess to life.
There is some of this still today.
i really don't have anything to say to the people around me and Facebook seems full of unnecessary natter.
Well not actually concentrating but felt that words (spoken and written) were a waste, unnecessary.
It was like i couldn't be bothered to work out what others meant.
Part of me said that there was no point in working it out anyway as it was excess to life.
There is some of this still today.
i really don't have anything to say to the people around me and Facebook seems full of unnecessary natter.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
She died today at 3:30pm
She died today at 3:30pm
looking at what was so obviously an empty shell,
it's hard not to construct a story of consciousness leaving the body.
Certainly consciousness was absent, but the how and why of it is in the realm of the unknown.
i only ever knew her through the lens of my own perception but i was always left with sense of enrichment from being with her.
This effect was reported by many who come into the sphere of her direct experience.
She was stoic.
She was stubborn.
She was a firebug.
Family and friends were everything to her.
to be continued...
looking at what was so obviously an empty shell,
it's hard not to construct a story of consciousness leaving the body.
Certainly consciousness was absent, but the how and why of it is in the realm of the unknown.
i only ever knew her through the lens of my own perception but i was always left with sense of enrichment from being with her.
This effect was reported by many who come into the sphere of her direct experience.
She was stoic.
She was stubborn.
She was a firebug.
Family and friends were everything to her.
to be continued...
Friday, February 3, 2012
story telling...
Story telling is pleasurable entertainment.
Here is some pleasurable entertainment.
There was once in a land far, far away,
a small person who was born with a defect.
Yes it's a sad story.
This small person was born without a personality.
In this land far, far away it is a widespread disease.
In fact every small person was born with it.
Every different parish in this land far, far away, knew how to Cure it.
It was amazing that there were hundreds of different languages and hundreds of different cultures and they each did a different version of the Cure and almost every one was cured.
Those poor souls who couldn't be cured were looked after very well.
There were institutions dedicated to caring for them.
...anyway, back to the Cure
It was learned very early in the history of this land far, far away that the best way to carry out the Cure was to give the job to parents.
Parents were trained by their parents who were trained by their parents and so on.
Nobody knows who trained the first parents.
There are stories, of course.
Some say it all started in a garden while others say it was a swamp.
Anyway it doesn't really matter where it all started.
It just matters that if every parent does their job properly then every small person will be cured.
Just as in training wild animals, a system of reward and punishment was found to be effective, although
it is thought that the reason that the state has to build more and more institutions to take care of the incurable is because parents don't have proper training.
Most blame the rule makers for this, but they in turn say that harsher punishment will correct the situation.
...anyway, back to the Cure
Whether it was discovered by some smart parent in the distant past or whether it was a slow evolution is a point the academics still argue today in the Learning Centres, but somehow parents came to know that if they described to the small people repeatedly the details of a personality that they wanted them to have that they would be Cured and develop a personality.
The usual outcome was that the small people rarely developed a personality like the parents had described but instead developed a mutated version of it.
Parents were still pleased regardless, as any personality meant that the small person wouldn't be taken away to one of the institutions for the incurable. (They tell me that conditions there are horrible.)
They usually start with a mantra of "Oh, your so cute" in a kind of syrupy sing-song voice of approval.
Of course when the small person starts to do something that is not approved of the response is a bark of frightening intensity designed to shock the small person in such a way that they won't repeat whatever it is that they did.
As growing occurs the mantra changes to something like "your a naughty boy" predominately as 'good' behaviour often elicits silence.
This is a particular potent mantra as it programmes the brain at several levels.
Firstly the 'your' word tells the small person that they have a separate identity. They soon learn that 'your' is the same as I/Me/MyName.
'a' reinforces the separateness. 'a' thing.
'naughty' while originally described behaviour gets taken as a characteristic of the small person. So it's not a small person behaving naughtily but a small person Who IS Naughty.
'boy' defines a gender identification. 'boy' has inherent in it all attitudes and behaviours that are masculine.
This mantra repeated several times a day is very powerful.
There are many variation of this mantra and even those that are not used directly.
A small person called Johnny over hears his mother saying "Johnny is not very good at reading" will very quickly adopt that as a characteristic of his developing personality.
Some parents adopt the attitude of the Rule Makers and believe that if they apply discipline that Johnny will get good at reading.
The end result is that most young adults have a fully formed personality and could easily fill a page with likes and dislikes and typical behaviour that define their Selves.'
Although the personality is developing and evolving from before birth to the very end, each person tends to see their Selves as something permanent and unchanging. At any point in their lives they will say that it is the same I that has always been there.
This is the absolute recognition that the Cure has been completely successful.
In a land far, far away there is in every cult(ure) a small group of outcasts.
They are not the incurable, though often they become that way, they are those who are so affected by the side effects of the Cure that they are obsessed with finding a different cure or with finding a way to lessen the side affects of the Cure.
They are usually referred to a 'the Seekers'. Always seeking a way to do it better.
They can have some strange ideas about life and how it could be.
They often refer to the few individuals in books that down through history had found a way to negate the side affects.
The Seekers had their own Rule Makers, usually somebody long dead who had followers who had followers and it was their followers who made a book telling it like they thought the original Rule Maker had said it.
He was usually a man from an entirely different cult(ure) and rumor had it that he might have had magical powers.
In spite of their differences most of these fringe dwellers had in the mythology of their particular cult(ure) a version of the Cure that had only beneficial side affects.
There were stories of perpetual bliss and the ablility to manifest whatever was wanted.
...anyway regardless of the promises, the cure to the side effects of the Cure was said to be attainable through following any one of a multitude of different paths.
Most paths, of course, maintained that they own the copy-write for the Only path that actually gets you there.
As somebody who was cured of the side affects once might have said;
"All of these paths, or most of them, occasionally touch the truth.
They were often based of a truth, but like the chinese whisper game (where a message is transferred verbally down a line of people) a few steps away from the original message, things start to mutate seriously.
Now they offer the same ego masturbation that belonging to a club for support of a football team does.
They are mostly bullshit !
But you know, bullshit is useful.
What are you when all of the layers of bullshit are peeled away ? "
...anyway back to the cure for the side affects of the Cure.
There are those among us that other people think have something special.
They seem not caught up in the trivial dramas that are usual for most people. They don't usually offer opinions or pronounce judgements about the good or the bad of something or somebody.
Some of them have said that the cure to the side affects of the Cure is actually very simple. That it's not learning something but rather Unlearning something.
They showed that there's nothing wrong with the Cure itself, but rather that the side affects are actually from a false belief that we are dependant on the Cure for continued survival. Indeed, that the Cure was actually a part of who we are.
The importance placed on maintenance of the Cure meant that our whole life was hinged on the upkeep of our Personality.
We not only constantly groomed it but would go as far as to commit murder if somebody insulted it.
Almost every thought sentence is started with I or My.
The Belief that you are your personality, the main character in the story of you is the total cause of the side affects of the Cure.
to be continued...
Here is some pleasurable entertainment.
There was once in a land far, far away,
a small person who was born with a defect.
Yes it's a sad story.
This small person was born without a personality.
In this land far, far away it is a widespread disease.
In fact every small person was born with it.
Every different parish in this land far, far away, knew how to Cure it.
It was amazing that there were hundreds of different languages and hundreds of different cultures and they each did a different version of the Cure and almost every one was cured.
Those poor souls who couldn't be cured were looked after very well.
There were institutions dedicated to caring for them.
...anyway, back to the Cure
It was learned very early in the history of this land far, far away that the best way to carry out the Cure was to give the job to parents.
Parents were trained by their parents who were trained by their parents and so on.
Nobody knows who trained the first parents.
There are stories, of course.
Some say it all started in a garden while others say it was a swamp.
Anyway it doesn't really matter where it all started.
It just matters that if every parent does their job properly then every small person will be cured.
Just as in training wild animals, a system of reward and punishment was found to be effective, although
it is thought that the reason that the state has to build more and more institutions to take care of the incurable is because parents don't have proper training.
Most blame the rule makers for this, but they in turn say that harsher punishment will correct the situation.
...anyway, back to the Cure
Whether it was discovered by some smart parent in the distant past or whether it was a slow evolution is a point the academics still argue today in the Learning Centres, but somehow parents came to know that if they described to the small people repeatedly the details of a personality that they wanted them to have that they would be Cured and develop a personality.
The usual outcome was that the small people rarely developed a personality like the parents had described but instead developed a mutated version of it.
Parents were still pleased regardless, as any personality meant that the small person wouldn't be taken away to one of the institutions for the incurable. (They tell me that conditions there are horrible.)
They usually start with a mantra of "Oh, your so cute" in a kind of syrupy sing-song voice of approval.
Of course when the small person starts to do something that is not approved of the response is a bark of frightening intensity designed to shock the small person in such a way that they won't repeat whatever it is that they did.
As growing occurs the mantra changes to something like "your a naughty boy" predominately as 'good' behaviour often elicits silence.
This is a particular potent mantra as it programmes the brain at several levels.
Firstly the 'your' word tells the small person that they have a separate identity. They soon learn that 'your' is the same as I/Me/MyName.
'a' reinforces the separateness. 'a' thing.
'naughty' while originally described behaviour gets taken as a characteristic of the small person. So it's not a small person behaving naughtily but a small person Who IS Naughty.
'boy' defines a gender identification. 'boy' has inherent in it all attitudes and behaviours that are masculine.
This mantra repeated several times a day is very powerful.
There are many variation of this mantra and even those that are not used directly.
A small person called Johnny over hears his mother saying "Johnny is not very good at reading" will very quickly adopt that as a characteristic of his developing personality.
Some parents adopt the attitude of the Rule Makers and believe that if they apply discipline that Johnny will get good at reading.
The end result is that most young adults have a fully formed personality and could easily fill a page with likes and dislikes and typical behaviour that define their Selves.'
Although the personality is developing and evolving from before birth to the very end, each person tends to see their Selves as something permanent and unchanging. At any point in their lives they will say that it is the same I that has always been there.
This is the absolute recognition that the Cure has been completely successful.
In a land far, far away there is in every cult(ure) a small group of outcasts.
They are not the incurable, though often they become that way, they are those who are so affected by the side effects of the Cure that they are obsessed with finding a different cure or with finding a way to lessen the side affects of the Cure.
They are usually referred to a 'the Seekers'. Always seeking a way to do it better.
They can have some strange ideas about life and how it could be.
They often refer to the few individuals in books that down through history had found a way to negate the side affects.
The Seekers had their own Rule Makers, usually somebody long dead who had followers who had followers and it was their followers who made a book telling it like they thought the original Rule Maker had said it.
He was usually a man from an entirely different cult(ure) and rumor had it that he might have had magical powers.
In spite of their differences most of these fringe dwellers had in the mythology of their particular cult(ure) a version of the Cure that had only beneficial side affects.
There were stories of perpetual bliss and the ablility to manifest whatever was wanted.
...anyway regardless of the promises, the cure to the side effects of the Cure was said to be attainable through following any one of a multitude of different paths.
Most paths, of course, maintained that they own the copy-write for the Only path that actually gets you there.
As somebody who was cured of the side affects once might have said;
"All of these paths, or most of them, occasionally touch the truth.
They were often based of a truth, but like the chinese whisper game (where a message is transferred verbally down a line of people) a few steps away from the original message, things start to mutate seriously.
Now they offer the same ego masturbation that belonging to a club for support of a football team does.
They are mostly bullshit !
But you know, bullshit is useful.
What are you when all of the layers of bullshit are peeled away ? "
...anyway back to the cure for the side affects of the Cure.
There are those among us that other people think have something special.
They seem not caught up in the trivial dramas that are usual for most people. They don't usually offer opinions or pronounce judgements about the good or the bad of something or somebody.
Some of them have said that the cure to the side affects of the Cure is actually very simple. That it's not learning something but rather Unlearning something.
They showed that there's nothing wrong with the Cure itself, but rather that the side affects are actually from a false belief that we are dependant on the Cure for continued survival. Indeed, that the Cure was actually a part of who we are.
The importance placed on maintenance of the Cure meant that our whole life was hinged on the upkeep of our Personality.
We not only constantly groomed it but would go as far as to commit murder if somebody insulted it.
Almost every thought sentence is started with I or My.
The Belief that you are your personality, the main character in the story of you is the total cause of the side affects of the Cure.
to be continued...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
emotions are like...
Some caring was expressed on the LiberationUnleashed liberated group today (just a few minutes ago) and i teared up.
Just witnessing caring, sharing evoked an instant surge of emotion and a resulting welling up of tears.
Not a sob. No wrenching. Just an overflow of beautiful, sensation.
Just writing about it now, triggers it again, although not as strong.
Is it that the Grief juice of the past couple of days (or is it more?) has primed this organism?
i checked and it started on Jan 26th Ha! Australia Day. It started as i got into the car to drive to Melbourne. post - on-way-to-melbourne
But these tears have nothing to do with Grief.
The wounded animal plea from that poor Doubt Sufferer evoked Compassion, which evoked, in turn, tears.
Are these tears different to yesterdays tears of a Grief overflow?
That one came out as an eruption. No gentle buildup to a beautiful meniscus before overflowing.
The possible story (for entertainment) is that they are connected, that yesterdays meltdown somehow contributed to todays.
i like it !
There is a sensation of being lifted from inside this chest. Like the chest cavity has been filled with enough helium gas to exert an upward lifting sensation.
The head seems to be physically cleaning out.
There is a gentleness, a sensitive-ness that pervades not only the body/mind but the space around it and includes everybody that thought touches.
Just witnessing caring, sharing evoked an instant surge of emotion and a resulting welling up of tears.
Not a sob. No wrenching. Just an overflow of beautiful, sensation.
Just writing about it now, triggers it again, although not as strong.
Is it that the Grief juice of the past couple of days (or is it more?) has primed this organism?
i checked and it started on Jan 26th Ha! Australia Day. It started as i got into the car to drive to Melbourne. post - on-way-to-melbourne
But these tears have nothing to do with Grief.
The wounded animal plea from that poor Doubt Sufferer evoked Compassion, which evoked, in turn, tears.
Are these tears different to yesterdays tears of a Grief overflow?
That one came out as an eruption. No gentle buildup to a beautiful meniscus before overflowing.
The possible story (for entertainment) is that they are connected, that yesterdays meltdown somehow contributed to todays.
i like it !
There is a sensation of being lifted from inside this chest. Like the chest cavity has been filled with enough helium gas to exert an upward lifting sensation.
The head seems to be physically cleaning out.
There is a gentleness, a sensitive-ness that pervades not only the body/mind but the space around it and includes everybody that thought touches.
Monday, January 30, 2012
haiku - Grief
Pass through me, Sweet Grief.
Mobilise the flow of Love
Cleansing Fire of Death.
Grief without an I,
no sadness inherent there.
Just the Flow of Love.
The Flow of Love is,
just a story to explain,
Inhaled by All.
Which is just story,
about what the feeling is,
The Something called Grief.
Mobilise the flow of Love
Cleansing Fire of Death.
Grief without an I,
no sadness inherent there.
Just the Flow of Love.
The Flow of Love is,
just a story to explain,
Inhaled by All.
Which is just story,
about what the feeling is,
The Something called Grief.
now that She is talking about her death...
Now that She is talking about her death,
Grief rises like a volcano
threatening to blow the top off this head.
Saved only by the sideways explosion from eyes/nose/mouth.
Grief, not painful grief.
Sweet grief.
Grief with such an intense pleasure that it could easily be mistaken for pain.
Without concern for appearance or response,
Sweet Grief takes over the mind/body Organism.
Thoughts and Feelings get swept upwards in the torrent of Love.
Occasionally a thought floats into consciousness saying,
"you're a selfish bastard! This isn't about You.
Where is your consideration for those more worthy of Sweet Mother Grief ?"
To which i reply "O Thought, you may be right,
but Happening is no Choice. "
And sometimes it seems that it Is Their grief being expressed Here.
Asked to do the Eulogy, and the story began;
"please everybody get your handkerchief or tissues out and ready.
i wrote many things about Heather and with each one Wept a bucket of tears.
i will start at the top of the list
But the moment i break up into tears i would like you to join me,
and we will just celebrate Her with a great big noisy cry.
... Ok, here we go...."
Grief rises like a volcano
threatening to blow the top off this head.
Saved only by the sideways explosion from eyes/nose/mouth.
Grief, not painful grief.
Sweet grief.
Grief with such an intense pleasure that it could easily be mistaken for pain.
Without concern for appearance or response,
Sweet Grief takes over the mind/body Organism.
Thoughts and Feelings get swept upwards in the torrent of Love.
Occasionally a thought floats into consciousness saying,
"you're a selfish bastard! This isn't about You.
Where is your consideration for those more worthy of Sweet Mother Grief ?"
To which i reply "O Thought, you may be right,
but Happening is no Choice. "
And sometimes it seems that it Is Their grief being expressed Here.
Asked to do the Eulogy, and the story began;
"please everybody get your handkerchief or tissues out and ready.
i wrote many things about Heather and with each one Wept a bucket of tears.
i will start at the top of the list
But the moment i break up into tears i would like you to join me,
and we will just celebrate Her with a great big noisy cry.
... Ok, here we go...."
Sunday, January 29, 2012
the Pain...
Seeing the Pain in Her sisters,
evoked it's own pain of sorts.
When does an unpleasant Sensation become painful ?
Imagined the Pain in Her Mother, though she didn't show it,
evoking an uncomfortable Question about Pain felt and Not Expressed.
Is the Pain connected to Her ?
Is it Our Pain responding to the Worlds history of Pain ?
Sadness at a Loss is pretty selfish pain.
Sadness by the witnessing of Suffering also starts and ends in our own head.
Sadness for the UnCreated by Her dying,
still doesn't connect with Her.
All the Pain is just the Organisms' way of saying,
"I don't want to lose that limb, even though I will manage without it."
It is the Pain if Clinging to That which we never had hold of.
If i say "go in peace and love",
it is so that i can have that peace and love.
How do i Farewell a part of me ?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Now that i am here...
Now that i am here and have actually seen Her,
a knowing that Nothing actually needs saying,
or more accurately The Saying is done without words.
i sat in the hospital room with my wife and daughter,
visiting our lifelong friend who was lying there in bed.
Not thinking about her/my past of excellent sharing and good feelings.
i didn't think to thank her for bringing Noel into our life.
They were such a good match.
Like two aliens from a planet of benevolence, they parented the world.
i didn't thank her for the sense of adventure she imparted to my wife.
The funeral services for dead birds, contributing to vegetarian-ism.
i sat there, just sat there feeling, feeling something maybe gratitude,
though if it is gratitude it is not directed, it is not For anything.
Maybe love, but not love For or By or With, just Love.
But i don't know what Love is either.
Appreciation could get a look in,
but that implies appreciation for Something, and there's no Thing here.
Ah, there's just a Warm something in the region of the Solar Plexus.
A Feeling that might touch lightly on all of the Above, just a Feeling.
Solid in the Centre and Softening as it radiates outward,
To infinity, though i feel its' intensity for a just a few metres.
It's Her.
It's She who is that Feeling.
It's Heather inside me, that part of me that's permeated with Compassion.
But it's Her Compassion for everybody that's inside my chest.
Oh well, if i say it is love,
You'll think you know what i mean.
a knowing that Nothing actually needs saying,
or more accurately The Saying is done without words.
i sat in the hospital room with my wife and daughter,
visiting our lifelong friend who was lying there in bed.
Not thinking about her/my past of excellent sharing and good feelings.
i didn't think to thank her for bringing Noel into our life.
They were such a good match.
Like two aliens from a planet of benevolence, they parented the world.
i didn't thank her for the sense of adventure she imparted to my wife.
The funeral services for dead birds, contributing to vegetarian-ism.
i sat there, just sat there feeling, feeling something maybe gratitude,
though if it is gratitude it is not directed, it is not For anything.
Maybe love, but not love For or By or With, just Love.
But i don't know what Love is either.
Appreciation could get a look in,
but that implies appreciation for Something, and there's no Thing here.
Ah, there's just a Warm something in the region of the Solar Plexus.
A Feeling that might touch lightly on all of the Above, just a Feeling.
Solid in the Centre and Softening as it radiates outward,
To infinity, though i feel its' intensity for a just a few metres.
It's Her.
It's She who is that Feeling.
It's Heather inside me, that part of me that's permeated with Compassion.
But it's Her Compassion for everybody that's inside my chest.
Oh well, if i say it is love,
You'll think you know what i mean.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
On the way to Melbourne...
On the way to Melbourne,
to say a Final goodbye to Heather,
There is emotional appreciation
for the Gift she gives.
All her life she was a Gift for all those that knew her.
She is my wife's best friend and sister.
She is sister to the whole world.
Quietly stubborn sometimes and Oh, so Stoic.
In pain but never a word about it, always seems so calm.
Hope i can keep it together when talking to her on Friday.
Hope i'm not too late to talk to her. don't know what i will say.
Don't Need to say anything, but would Like to say;
"Heather, thank you for being part of my Life.
You have enriched it immensely.
Go with Love & peace.
But of course i wont, You don't admit that this could be the last conversation that you might have together.
to say a Final goodbye to Heather,
There is emotional appreciation
for the Gift she gives.
All her life she was a Gift for all those that knew her.
She is my wife's best friend and sister.
She is sister to the whole world.
Quietly stubborn sometimes and Oh, so Stoic.
In pain but never a word about it, always seems so calm.
Hope i can keep it together when talking to her on Friday.
Hope i'm not too late to talk to her. don't know what i will say.
Don't Need to say anything, but would Like to say;
"Heather, thank you for being part of my Life.
You have enriched it immensely.
Go with Love & peace.
But of course i wont, You don't admit that this could be the last conversation that you might have together.
still raining.
The rain's still falling.
It's a Frog Orchestra now.
the little fuckers.
Buckets of Frog eggs,
make rabbit breeding look tame.
The Rain is so Loud.
Meditating Sounds,
The Frogs, the Rain and my Mind.
Deep i went tonight.
It's a Frog Orchestra now.
the little fuckers.
Buckets of Frog eggs,
make rabbit breeding look tame.
The Rain is so Loud.
Meditating Sounds,
The Frogs, the Rain and my Mind.
Deep i went tonight.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
an observation
The skin has an itch.
The sound of rain is pleasing.
Both incite response.
Frogs sing to the night.
A chorus of brain feeling.
Time to welcome sleep.
The sound of rain is pleasing.
Both incite response.
Frogs sing to the night.
A chorus of brain feeling.
Time to welcome sleep.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
i'm posting less and less...
i'm posting less and less as there seems to be less to express.
There is plenty to express in response to discussion on This New way of Being, but not much seems to want airing otherwise.
There was a value in expressing almost anything before as this was a way of discovering what was happening at a deeper level of mind/emotion.
Now there seems to be a different kind of discovery going on.
The relaxed observing of 'What IS' seems to be the main conscious awareness that occurs.
Before, there was a desperate attempt to work out what was going on subconsciously, based on the belief that every neurosis had to be worked out/through individually. That each had to be brought to the surface and washed clean, whereas now it is seen that these thing can simple be dropped, en masse, simply with the exposure of the process that they are involved in.
Details are irrelevant. Each time a trigger is activated, regardless of What it brings up, it is Seen and that is usually the end of it.
Some triggers need multiple exposure but most do Not.
There is plenty to express in response to discussion on This New way of Being, but not much seems to want airing otherwise.
There was a value in expressing almost anything before as this was a way of discovering what was happening at a deeper level of mind/emotion.
Now there seems to be a different kind of discovery going on.
The relaxed observing of 'What IS' seems to be the main conscious awareness that occurs.
Before, there was a desperate attempt to work out what was going on subconsciously, based on the belief that every neurosis had to be worked out/through individually. That each had to be brought to the surface and washed clean, whereas now it is seen that these thing can simple be dropped, en masse, simply with the exposure of the process that they are involved in.
Details are irrelevant. Each time a trigger is activated, regardless of What it brings up, it is Seen and that is usually the end of it.
Some triggers need multiple exposure but most do Not.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
LAST QUESTION: how has this liberation impacted your life with family/loved ones/friends?
The biggest impact is disapproval from Wife over how much time spent on computer (FB & Forum)
There is a noticeable decrease in reaction to 'button pushing' by her and certainly a decrease in the need to 'hold a position' on my part.
Mostly they all see me a normal (vince is a bit weird) with a slightly new twist.
Overall, not much change really.
Overall, not much change really.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
every liberation is unique.
Every person is unique, every liberation is unique.
There may be parallels (or not) between your experience and mine.
There may be parallels (or not) between your experience and mine.
For me it was a subtle, gradual awakening.
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened.
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing.
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly.
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)
Which probably says more about brain conditioning, habit than awakening.
i spent over 40 years trying to 'think' myself into a fantasy called enlightenment.
Part of the fantasy was that there would be a 'sonic boom' when it happened.
Oh! the relief that would occur with such a definite knowing.
Looking back it was probably that orgasmic release that would come with 'knowing', that i anticipated mostly.
When i accepted that there was a 'crack' that i could look through and see 'it', i also accepted how 'ordinary' it all is. This then led on to a state where a 'bleed in' through that 'crack' facilitated a seeing that 'What is in my direct experiencing, is all that IS' and that everything else is part of a story, it is not real - to me)
A Realisation...
It just came to me, or more accurately, Thoughts arose that there is no need to work anything out any more.
There is a relaxation that says 'what needs to be known is shown when needed'
As this is being written, tears well up. Tears of a beautiful release. What a weight off ! No need to collect knowledge anymore. No need to consider how good i am at certain tasks.
Knowledge will be collected Of Course, but it won't be a chore that is a statement about how good i am. It will be knowledge that sticks as i brush past it. Natural curiosity of the organism will be its propellant.
There is a relaxation that says 'what needs to be known is shown when needed'
As this is being written, tears well up. Tears of a beautiful release. What a weight off ! No need to collect knowledge anymore. No need to consider how good i am at certain tasks.
Knowledge will be collected Of Course, but it won't be a chore that is a statement about how good i am. It will be knowledge that sticks as i brush past it. Natural curiosity of the organism will be its propellant.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
How i handle Doubts.
i handle Doubts by reminding myself that Doubts are just thoughts.
Thoughts are as significant as the sound of the refrigerator.
Thoughts of Doubt are part of What IS. (if they are)
Thoughts of Doubt are a Welcome part of What IS.
Thoughts of Doubt can tell me something.
Thoughts of Doubt are triggered by something.
Thoughts of Doubt, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
Thoughts of Doubt triggers, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
Thoughts are as significant as the sound of the refrigerator.
Thoughts of Doubt are part of What IS. (if they are)
Thoughts of Doubt are a Welcome part of What IS.
Thoughts of Doubt can tell me something.
Thoughts of Doubt are triggered by something.
Thoughts of Doubt, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
Thoughts of Doubt triggers, when seen, get eliminated or at least weakened.
How long would you give attention to the sound of the refrigerator ? Thoughts of Doubt need less time than that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)