Thursday, September 9, 2010

when is compassion really ego?

i visited a cousin, a friend today on the way back from Melbourne. i dearly love her and the fact that she has been through two strokes and a heart attack caused my heart to go out to help her. Of course, i wanted to tell her about Advaita and that her circumstances were a treasure because of the wakeup call it was. i was also able to give her a copy of the audiobook My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte-Tailor. There was also the experience while having the stroke of being unable to verbalize (even mentally) letters or numbers but KNEW that they were letters and numbers. Her AWARENESS of KNOWING that was outside of thought was an invaluable pointer if not a portal !
i ached with the want to make her better - better than the 'normal' that she was before it all happened and the 'normal' she wanted to return to. i wanted for her that which i hadn't realized for myself (who?) yet.
Was i solidifying my ego by wanting this?

No comments: