Thursday, September 9, 2010

updates from the verge (of every/no-where)

Where(?) am I now?

I have just finished a busy day with a friend helping with computer issues.
Whereas i (my mind?) has been somewhat objectively aware of it's own thinking processes and of the body's state of comfort on many instances over the past couple of weeks, today there was no awareness until a moment ago (when reactivity wasn't the primary behaviour) (maybe reactivity to mind/thought has replaced reactivity to external stimulus)
The last few days have delivered (?) some extended periods of wonderful good humour, to the extent that the sensation was almost a high.
Golf in springtime, now.
body enjoys the feeling.
Who? knows the body feeling.

This mind has an almost cocky self (?) assurance that it understands the concept (?) of observing (awareness-ing) “the world” from a perspective (place ?) of objective (non judgemental) perception.
But still, seeking beckons.
A yearning the body experiences as a physical sensation from the sternum region. Not unpleasant, but nagging.
Being born to life
in my body's autumn
wonder-full it is.

Some moments of recognition that have occurred;
To relax in the peace of acceptance.
To observe the mind tentatively thinking that it knows the “way” the “world” works.
To allow appropriate decisions/action to arise.

To teach/help/give/share
a chest bursting explosion
it must be ego.

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