i can't give up - i can't not give up.

i can't give up the search, or more accurately i can't give up the wanting to attain liberation (the advaita cops will get me for that phraseology )
i can't choose what i want to want, or more accurately i can't choose to not want.
Just like i can't choose what my next thought will be.


i can not give up
the wanting to know reality
though it doesn't help