Friendship

In pre-awakened times, friendship, like all relationships existed on a spectrum.
There were those that were closer and those more distant.
An acquaintance, being the most distant, was someone that you shared little more with than a knowing of names, maybe occupation, and had somewhat regular visual contact with.
As the distance decreases, at some point we start calling it friendship.
It may be that this point is when personal sharing occurs.
'personal' is a whole rabbit hole of its' own.
Since awakening, it has been impossible to take anything personally. For a start, there is only a story of I or Me or self, so there is no-one to take anything personally. 
Then there is the recognition that others cannot actually know anything about 'me'. 
They can only relate to their story of me, 
and who knows how accurate that might be ?
There is no doubt that imagining that the other likes me is also important, and add to this an underlying sharing of attitudes and philosophy and the distance decreases even further.
In close friendships there is a non-judgemental acceptance of the others behaviour and thinking.
Predictability may have a place in the feeling of safety that exists when either interacting or thinking about a friend.
i used to think that it was important that a friend 'knew me'. Knew my likes and dislikes, knew my philosophy on life. Now, my 'best' friend clearly relates to a story of me, and there is complete acceptance that they will never really 'know' me.


Many so-called friendships, like most couples relationships, are actually each others demons feeding of the other.
When you say "friend", there is a softness, a warmth, good humor, connection. It is a heart thing.
When you say "acquaintance", there is a knowledge about that person. It is a mental thing (mostly).
The awakened can see clearly that the relationship with another is, in fact a relationship with a story they hold about the other, and actually is very loosely based on the actual person.
This doesn't preclude friendships as preferences still exist and the organism certainly prefers feeling safe and warm.

...maybe to be continued.

Is 'Looking At' the same as 'Seeing' ?

When we 'look AT' we are looking at labels, we are therefore relating to a brain generated overlay, complete with opinions and judgements, and just as opinions and judgements are ABOUT something, so too is the overlay, but when we are SEEing we are experiencing what IS. Not about it, but  direct experiencing. This includes the perception that what is being SEEN is not an object 'out there' but a focussing on details of interaction that are indescribable.  Indescribable because to attempt to describe them is to ignore the nuance that is the depth of the multi sensorial experiencing. 
Can the Seen be seen without the See-er ? Is there a See-er without the Seen ? Where does the See-er and the Seen begin and end ?
To appreciate that See-er and Seen are actually an experiencing of SEEing, that there can be No separation, is to begin to grok this.
It may not be possible to avoid the 'looking At', as brain conditioning has already taken place and all of the ingredients for labeling are already there, But it is possible to be aware that this is happening and to give it the attention that it deserves (which is very little usually, though to communicate with another, it may be useful to have a 'shared' perception) The mind is obsessed with applying meaning to everything and part of doing this is to categorise and label everything that it touches.
The realization that thoughts have no inherent integrity (thoughts are always about, always conceptual and can only interfere with direct experiencing.) allows a relationship with reality that doesn't distort it. (reality is not actually an "it", nor can it be related to,  but language...)

When looking at it,
mind knows what it's seen before.
and sees it again.

When SEEing something,
it's always for the first time,
and it's Wonder-Full

What is Love ?

Love is such a contaminated word these days, that it is almost better not to use it.

An open, willing acceptance of what IS, tinged with appreciation and a huge Wonder at the constant discovery that is occurring.
When this is focused on other people, a compassion emerges along with the realisation that they are actually a projection of 'me', and indeed are revealing something more about this organism..., provokes an almost painful emotion that can conveniently be labeled Love.

Seeker - hear this.

Seeker, all of your effort-ing has caused your body to hover about a meter above ground level. The more you struggle, the higher you go. The usual struggle to maintain an I, has most of the world just under a meter high.
There is NOTHING you can DO to float back to ground level.
It happens with the cessation of struggle.
Any belief (opinion, judgement) is an attempt to manipulate reality, and up you go...
There is nothing to 'get' here.
EVERYTHING you Seek, already IS, and ALWAYS has been.
Grounded is the default state.